Kitty Alone: A Story of Three Fires (vol. 3 of 3)Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
General
Kitty Alone: A Story of Three Fires (vol. 3 of 3)
Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
English fiction -- 19th century
“Now, Mrs. Pepperill, will you look towards the Bench and tell their
worships, in order, the events of the evening of the 16th ultimo.”
Zerah was silent for a while.
“Do not be afraid; speak out,” said the chairman.
“Well, sir,” began Zerah, “it was supper’we mostly has our supper at
seven, or thereabout. Sometimes we can’t be exact. That clock of ours
ain’t over partic’lar to a minute, and us sets it by the Atmospheric,
and the Atmospheric is most irregular of all. Then us took the clock to
Mr. Ford, to Newton, to have ’n put to rights, and us paid ’n seven and
six, and he sent ’n home worse than he was afore. He used to go,
reg’lar, right on end till he runned down, tho’ he didn’t always keep
time exact-ly. But after Mr. Ford took ’n in hand, then he began to
stand still, after he wor winded up, out o’ pure wickedness; and if you
gentlemen would make Mr. Ford pay me back that there seven and six”’
The chairman interrupted her. “Come to the point, please, Mrs.
Pepperill.”
“Is it the leg o’ pork you mean?” asked Zerah. “I’m comin’ to her
direct-ly. You see, sirs, ’twern’t cured proper, not as I likes it, and
so the maggots got to the bone. Which do your worships like,
gentlemen’rubbin’ in the salt dry, or soakin’ in brine? I hold to the
dry rubbin’’that is, if it be well done; but to have a thing well done
you must do it yourself. You can’t trust nobody now. And so the
maggots”’
“Never mind the maggots, my good woman.”
“So I sed to Pasco. Us can’t waste thickey leg o’ pork; us must eat ’n,
and so I’ll get ’n out as well as I can, and you go and take plenty o’
exercise and work up a cruel strong appetite, and you won’t make no
count o’ there having been maggots in the leg o’ pork.”
The chairman again intervened, and requested Mr. Squire to extract what
was necessary to be known from this good woman by interrogation. If
allowed her own course, she would not know where to stop, like the clock
before taken in hand by Mr. Ford, and run clean away, as was threatened
by the leg of pork.
“Mrs. Pepperill,” said Mr. Squire, “you seem to be diffusive in your
evidence. However engrossing may be the interest attaching to your clock
and leg of pork, still we are not concerned, thank goodness, with
either’specially, thank goodness, we are not here to discuss that same
leg of pork.”
“The leg ought to ha’ been turned in the brine twice a day, and her
wasn’t. If her had been, her’d ha’ been famous.”
“I rather think, Mrs. Pepperill, this leg of pork is likely to become
famous now, as I see a local reporter present, and it will appear in the
paper. But this leg is blocking our way; let us lay it on the shelf and
proceed, as the French say, to our mutton. Where were you at seven, or,
may be, half-past seven, on the evening of the 16th ultimo?”
“I don’t think I was nowhere.”
“What! nowhere three days ago?”
“That wor the 16th August.”
“Well, I said so.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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