Love stories; Reconstruction (U.S. history, 1865-1877) -- Fiction; Southern States -- History -- 1865-1877 -- Fiction
"I met Miss Grayson, your niece, during my first class summer at West
Point, and got to admire her, as everybody else did. I got to more than
admire her. She absolutely fascinated me. I don't mean that she tried to
in the least,--she just couldn't help it. Before camp was half over I
was just beside myself about her; couldn't be content if I didn't see
her every day; take her to the hops, and devote myself generally. Every
man in the class thought I was dead in love with her. Mr. Brandon, I--I
did myself. I never ceased to think so--until last--until after that
Ku-Klux fight at Sandbrook. I _made_ her think so. She really tried to
talk me out of it at first,--she did indeed. She said that it was simply
a fancy that I would soon outgrow; and she never for once could be
induced to say that she cared anything for me. She was always lovely and
ladylike, always perfect, it seemed to me. She even went so far as to
remind me that she was as old as I was, and far older in the ways of the
world, and cadets especially. She never encouraged me one bit, and I
just went on getting more and more in love with her all that year; used
to write to her three or four times a week; dozens of letters that she
only occasionally answered. Then she came up in June, and I was
incessantly at her side. She might not care for me, but she did not seem
to care for anybody else, and so it went on. She would not take my class
ring when I begged her to that summer. She wore it a few days, but made
me take it back the day we graduates went away; but I went back that
summer to see her twice, and when I came away I swore that after I'd
been in service a year I would return to New York to offer myself again;
and we used to write to each other that winter, only her letters were
not like mine. They were nice and friendly and all that,--still, I knew
she had my promise. I thought she would expect me to come back. I felt
engaged so far as I was concerned; then when I got wounded her letters
grew far more interested, you know (Mr. Brandon nodded appreciatively);
and then they began to come often; and, whether it was that she thought
our life was very hazardous, or that the climate was going to be a bad
thing for me, or that I would not recover rapidly there, her letters
began to urge me to come North. I got two at Sandbrook--one the very day
you were there at the tent--and two since we came here; and then--then I
found only too surely that it was not love I felt for her; indeed, that
I had grown to love--you know well enough (almost defiantly)--Miss
Carrington. I felt in honor bound to carry out my promise to Miss
Grayson, and to avoid--to--well, to be true to my promise in every way.
But I was utterly miserable. Mother detected it in my letters, and at
last I broke down and told her the truth. She said there was only one
honorable course for me to pursue, and that was to write to Miss
Grayson and tell her the same, tell her the whole truth; and it was an
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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