Knickerbocker's history of New York, vol. 1 (of 2)Irving, Washington
History
Knickerbocker's history of New York, vol. 1 (of 2)
Irving, Washington
New York (State) -- History -- Colonial period, ca. 1600-1775
With all his reflective habits, he never made up his mind on a subject.
His adherents accounted for this by the astonishing magnitude of his
ideas. He conceived every subject on so grand a scale that he had not
room in his head to turn it over and examine both sides of it. Certain
it is, that, if any matter were propounded to him on which ordinary
mortals would rashly determine at first glance, he would put on a vague,
mysterious look, shake his capacious head, smoke some time in profound
silence, and at length observe, that “he had his doubts about the
matter”; which gained him the reputation of a man slow of belief and not
easily imposed upon. What is more, it gained him a lasting name; for to
this habit of the mind has been attributed his surname of Twiller; which
is said to be a corruption of the original Twijfler, or, in plain
English, _Doubter_.
[Illustration: “SET LIGHT-MINDED HEARERS IN A ROAR.”]
The person of this illustrious old gentleman was formed and
proportioned, as though it had been moulded by the hands of some cunning
Dutch statuary, as a model of majesty and lordly grandeur. He was
exactly five feet six inches in height, and six feet five inches in
circumference. His head was a perfect sphere, and of such stupendous
dimensions, that Dame Nature, with all her sex’s ingenuity, would have
been puzzled to construct a neck capable of supporting it; wherefore she
wisely declined the attempt, and settled it firmly on the top of his
backbone, just between the shoulders. His body was oblong and
particularly capacious at bottom; which was wisely ordered by
Providence, seeing that he was a man of sedentary habits, and very
averse to the idle labor of walking. His legs were short, but sturdy in
proportion to the weight they had to sustain; so that when erect he had
not a little the appearance of a beer-barrel on skids. His face, that
infallible index of the mind, presented a vast expanse, unfurrowed by
any of those lines and angles which disfigure the human countenance with
what is termed expression. Two small gray eyes twinkled feebly in the
midst, like two stars of lesser magnitude in a hazy firmament, and his
full-fed cheeks, which seemed to have taken toll of everything that went
into his mouth, were curiously mottled and streaked with dusky red, like
a spitzenberg apple.
[Illustration: WOUTER VAN TWILLER.]
VOL. 1—15
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