English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
Then Joseph, with some groans and grumbles, went to decorate himself,
that the new incumbent might smile upon him and reappoint him to the care
of the vicarage garden. He shaved very carefully, washed, showed Mrs.
Hannaford his finger-nails,—a matter he usually shirked,—donned his best
attire, and finally started beside his wife to appear before Mr. Budd.
“’Tis a grievous choice,” he said; “an’ if the man doan’t take me on,
I’ll have to go to the Hall under Smallridge—a very ill-convenient thing
to think upon.”
“’Tis a matter of form, but better the Hall than any paltering with
what’s right; an’ better be under Smallridge than against your
conscience.”
“My conscience is very well, an’ always have been since I was a bwoy.”
“You’m a deal tu easy, however,” she answered sternly—“a deal tu easy,
an’ you’ll very likely find that out when ’tis tu late. Your conscience
be like proud-flesh, I reckon: don’t hurt ’e ’cause ’tis past feeling. I
wish it pricked you so often as your rheumatics do. ’Twould be a sign of
grace.”
“You’m like poor Parson Truman’s li’l maiden wi’ her flowers, you be,” he
retorted. “Her was always dragging up the things to see how they
prospered, an’ you’m always dragging up your conscience by the roots,
same way, to see how ’tis faring. I let mine bide.”
“You can’t,” snapped back Mrs. Hannaford. “Conscience ban’t built to
bide—no more’n a growing pear upon a tree. It goes from gude to better,
or else from bad to worse. You ban’t so righteous-minded as I could wish
’e, Joseph; but I’ve done a deal for you since we’ve been man an’ wife;
an’ if you’m spared ten year more, I lay I’ll have your conscience to
work so hard as a man saving his own hay.”
“Pity you can’t live an’ let live, my dear,” answered the gardener.
“Even the weeds was made by God for His own ends, as I always told
Truman. You’m a very religious woman; an’ nobody knaws it better’n you;
all the same, if folks’ consciences ax for such a power of watching, ’tis
enough for every human to look after theer own, surely.”
“Why for don’t you do it, then?”
“Here’s the vicarage,” he answered. “Us better not go in warm—might be
against us. I’ll dust my boots, an’ you’d best to cool your face, for
’tis glistening like the moon in the sky.”
Presently they stood before a busy newcomer. He proved a young, plump,
and pleasant man—a man fond of fishing and fox-hunting, a man of rotund
voice and rotund figure. Joseph’s heart grew hopeful. Here was no
dragon of horticulture, but one, like himself, who would live and let
live, and doubtless leave the garden in the hands of its professional
attendant.
“Your servant, sir,” he said. “I hope your honour be very well an’ likes
the church an’ the hunt—also the garden.”
“Mr. Joseph Hannaford, I suppose, and this is Mrs. Hannaford—good
parishioners both, of course? Sit down, Mrs. Hannaford, please.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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