“I am darn glad to see you, old chap,” he said, “but I am sorry to hear that you have come over to try and reason with this bunch of nuts. Don’t you know they are so damn conceited that if you were to tell them that every time you look at a German you see two men, they would believe you; and then as if they hated to lie to themselves, they would say perhaps it was an optical illusion. Tell them that God did not create anyone but the Germans and that he left the rest of the world to the students in his office, and they will give you a smile of assent.” Edestone smiled indulgently. “Tell them that when the Kaiser frowns every wheel in the United States stops and refuses to move until reassured by the German papers that it is but the frown of an indulgent father and not the thunder of their future War Lord, and they will give a knowing look. Tell them that only German is taught in our public schools, and that any child who does not double-cross himself at the mention of the name of any of the North German Lloyd steamers is taken out and shot, and they will say, ‘Ach so?’ “But just you pull something about what a hit Brother Henry made in the United States, especially with the navy, and what a swell chance he would have of being elected Admiral when Dewey resigns, then look out! Get under your umbrella and sit perfectly still until the storm passes. Keep well down in the trenches and don’t expose anything that you do not want sent to the cleaners. For when one of these Dutchmen begins to splutter, there is nothing short of the U-29 that can stand the tidal wave of beer and sauerkraut which has been lying in wait for some unsuspecting neutral in their flabby jowls like nuts in a squirrel’s cheek. They back-fire, skip, short-circuit, and finally blow up, and if you don’t throw on a bucket or two of flattery quick, you’ve got a duel on your hands, which for an American in this country means that you get it going and coming.” Edestone, knowing Lawrence well, took what he said largely as a joke; but from his own observations and from what Jones had told him he felt convinced that there did not exist the kindest feeling for Americans in Berlin. Brushing all this aside, he turned to Lawrence with a businesslike air: “Where are the trunks that I sent to the Embassy?” he asked. “Have they got here yet?” “Down in the basement,” Lawrence nodded. “I’d like to get something out of them.” “Well, why look at me?” inquired Lawrence. “I’m no baggage smasher.” “It’s a pity you’re not,” rejoined Edestone. “You would be better at that than you are at diplomacy. However, all I want is for you to have someone show me where they are.” “Fred, show the King of America where his royal impedimenta await his royal pleasure,” Lawrence directed a young man with the manners of a Bowery boy, who appeared in answer to his summons.