Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
So they complimented him on being so smart and so humane at the same
time and said they ought to have thought up the idea themselves only
they didn't have the intellect for it--they admitted that, too--and
after he'd sopped up their praise for a while and felt all warm and
satisfied, they turned in, and peace and quiet reigned in that cabin
until daylight, except for some far-and-wide snoring and the dog having
a severe nightmare under the stove about two-thirty A. M.
Up to a certain point the scheme worked lovely. Having established
the proper connections between the dog and the tree, the fuse and the
dynamite, Good Sam is gamboling along through the slush on his way
back and whistling a merry tune, when all of a sudden his guiding
spirit makes him look back behind him--and here comes that pup! He's
either pulled loose from the rope or else he's eaten it up--it would be
more like him to eat it. But the stick of dynamite is dangling from his
neck and the fuse is spitting little sparks.
Good Sam swings around and yells at the animal to go away and he grabs
up a chunk of wood and heaves it at him. But the dog thinks that's only
play and he keeps right on coming, with his tail wagging in innocent
amusement and his tongue hanging out like a pink plush necktie and
his eyes shining with gratefulness for the kind gentleman who's gone
to all the trouble of thinking up this new kind of game especially on
his account. So then Good Sam lights out, running for the cabin, and
the dog, still entering heartily into the sport, takes after him and
begins gaining at every jump. It's a close race and getting closer all
the time and no matter which one of 'em finishes first it looks like a
mortal cinch that neither winner nor loser is going to be here to enjoy
his little triumph afterwards.
Inside the cabin Boots and Babe hear the contestants drawing nearer.
Mixed in with much happy frolicsome barking is a large volume of
praying and yelling and calls for help, and along with all this a noise
like a steam snow-plow being driven at a high rate of speed. Boots
jumps for the door but before he can jerk it open, Good Sam busts in
with his little playmate streaking along not ten feet behind him, and
at that instant the blast goes off and the pup loses second money, as
you might say, by about two lengths.
It's a few minutes after that when Boots and Babe reach the unanimous
conclusion that they've been pretty near ruined by too much benevolence.
Boots is propping up the front side of the cabin, the explosion having
jarred it loose, and Babe is still laying where he landed against the
back wall and nursing his game leg. The visiting humanitarian has gone
down the ridge to get his nerves ca'mmed.
"Babe," says Boots, "you know what it looks like to me?"
"What it looks like to us two, you mean," says Babe.
"Sure," says Boots; "well, it looks like to both of us that we've been
dern near killed with kindness."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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