Lady Barbarina, The Siege of London, An International Episode, and Other TalesJames, Henry
General
Lady Barbarina, The Siege of London, An International Episode, and Other Tales
James, Henry
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Europe -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
I said it partly because it was true, but I said it for other reasons, as
well, which I found hard to define. Standing there bareheaded in the
night air, in the vague light, this young lady took on an extreme
interest, which was moreover not diminished by a suspicion on my own part
that she had come into the garden knowing me to be there. I thought her
charming, I thought her remarkable and felt very sorry for her; but as I
looked at her the terms in which Madame Beaurepas had ventured to
characterise her recurred to me with a certain force. I had professed a
contempt for them at the time, but it now came into my head that perhaps
this unfortunately situated, this insidiously mutinous young creature was
in quest of an effective preserver. She was certainly not a girl to
throw herself at a man’s head, but it was possible that in her
intense—her almost morbid—desire to render operative an ideal charged
perhaps after all with as many fallacies as her mother affirmed, she
might do something reckless and irregular—something in which a
sympathetic compatriot, as yet unknown, would find his profit. The
image, unshaped though it was, of this sympathetic compatriot filled me
with a semblance of envy. For some moments I was silent, conscious of
these things; after which I answered her question. “Because some
things—some differences—are felt, not learned. To you liberty’s not
natural; you’re like a person who has bought a repeating watch and is, in
his satisfaction, constantly taking it out of his pocket to hear it
sound. To a real American girl her liberty’s a very vulgarly-ticking old
clock.”
“Ah, you mean then,” said my young friend, “that my mother has ruined
me?”
“Ruined you?”
“She has so perverted my mind that when I try to be natural I’m
necessarily indecent.”
I threw up hopeless arms. “That again’s a false note!”
She turned away. “I think you’re cruel.”
“By no means,” I declared; “because, for my own taste, I prefer you
as—as—”
On my hesitating she turned back. “As what?”
“As you are!”
She looked at me a while again, and then she said in a little reasoning
tone that reminded me of her mother’s, only that it was conscious and
studied, “I wasn’t aware that I’m under any particular obligation to
please you!” But she also gave a clear laugh, quite at variance with
this stiffness. Suddenly I thought her adorable.
“Oh there’s no obligation,” I said, “but people sometimes have
preferences. I’m very sorry you’re going away.”
“What does it matter to you? You are going yourself.”
“As I’m going in a different direction, that makes all the greater
separation.”
She answered nothing; she stood looking through the bars of the tall gate
at the empty dusky street. “This grille is like a cage,” she said at
last.
“Fortunately it’s a cage that will open.” And I laid my hand on the
lock.
“Don’t open it”; and she pressed the gate close. “If you should open it
I’d go out. There you’d be, monsieur—for I should never return.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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