Lady Barbarina, The Siege of London, An International Episode, and Other TalesJames, Henry
General
Lady Barbarina, The Siege of London, An International Episode, and Other Tales
James, Henry
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Europe -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
The conversation in the parlour (from eight to eleven) ranges over many
subjects—I sometimes feel as if it really avoided _none_; and I often
wish you or some of the Bangor folks could be there to enjoy it. Even
though you couldn’t understand it I think you’d like to hear the way they
go on; they seem to express so much. I sometimes think that at Bangor
they don’t express enough—except that it seems as if over there they’ve
less _to_ express. It seems as if at Bangor there were things that folks
never _tried_ to say; but I seem to have learned here from studying
French that you’ve no idea what you _can_ say before you try. At Bangor
they kind of give it up beforehand; they don’t make any effort. (I don’t
say this in the least for William Platt _in particular_.)
I’m sure I don’t know what they’ll think of me when I get back anyway.
It seems as if over here I had learned to come out with everything. I
suppose they’ll think I’m not sincere; but isn’t it more sincere to come
right out with things than just to keep feeling of them in your
mind—without giving any one the benefit? I’ve become very good friends
with every one in the house—that is (you see I _am_ sincere) with
_almost_ every one. It’s the most interesting circle I ever was in.
There’s a girl here, an American, that I don’t like so much as the rest;
but that’s only because she won’t let me. I should like to like her,
ever so much, because she’s most lovely and most attractive; but she
doesn’t seem to want to know me or to take to me. She comes from New
York and she’s remarkably pretty, with beautiful eyes and the most
delicate features; she’s also splendidly stylish—in this respect would
bear comparison with any one I’ve seen over here. But it seems as if she
didn’t want to recognise me or associate with me, as if she wanted to
make a difference between us. It is like people they call “haughty” in
books. I’ve never seen any one like that before—any one that wanted to
make a difference; and at first I was right down interested, she seemed
to me so like a proud young lady in a novel. I kept saying to myself all
day “haughty, haughty,” and I wished she’d keep on so. But she did keep
on—she kept on too long; and then I began to feel it in a different way,
to feel as if it kind of wronged me. I couldn’t think what I’ve done,
and I can’t think yet. It’s as if she had got some idea about me or had
heard some one say something. If some girls should behave like that I
wouldn’t make any account of it; but this one’s so refined, and looks as
if she might be so fascinating if I once got to know her, that I think
about it a good deal. I’m bound to find out what her reason is—for of
course she has got some reason; I’m right down curious to know.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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