England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Love stories; Oxford (England) -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
“He is very quiet and patient now—generally—and quite determined to
make a name for himself as a composer. But he seems to me
extraordinarily frail. Do you remember that lovely French poem of Sully
Prudhomme’s I read you one night—‘_Le Vase Brisé_’? The vase has had a
blow. No one knew of it. But the little crack widens and grows. The
water ebbs away—the flowers die. ‘_Il est brisé_—_n’y touchez pas_!’ I
can see it is just that Mr. Sorell feels about Otto.
“What makes one anxious sometimes, is that he has hours of a kind of
fierce absent-mindedness, when his real self seems to be far away—as
though in some feverish or ugly dream. He goes away and wanders about
by himself. Mr. Sorell does not attempt to follow him, though he is
always horribly anxious. And after some hours he comes back, limp and
worn out, but quite himself again—as though he had gone through some
terrible wrestle and escaped.
“Mr. Sorell gave him, a little while ago, a wonderful new automatic
thing—a piano-player, I think they call it. It works with a roll like a
musical box and has pedals. But Otto can’t do much with it. To get any
expression out of it you must use your hands—both hands; and I am
afraid it has been more disappointment than joy. But there are rumours
of some development—something electric—that plays itself. They say
there is an inventor at work in Paris, who is doing something
wonderful. I have written to a girl I know at the Embassy to ask her to
find out. It might just help him through some weary hours—that’s all
one can say.
“The relation between him and Mr. Sorell is wonderful. Oh, what an
angel Mr. Sorell is! How can any human being, and with no trouble at
all apparently, be so unselfish, so self-controlled? What will any
woman do who falls in love with him? It won’t make any difference that
he’ll think her so much better than himself—because she’ll know the
truth. I see no chance for her. My dear Nora, the best men are better
than the best women—there! But—take note!—I am not in love with him,
though I adore him, and when he disapproves of me, I feel a worm.
“I hear a good deal of the Fallodens, but nobody sees them. Every one
shrinks from pestering them with society—not from any bad feeling—but
because every one knows by now that they are in hideous difficulties,
and doesn’t want to intrude. Lady Laura, they say, is very much
changed, and Sir Arthur looks terribly ill and broken. Aunt Marcia
hears that Douglas Falloden is doing all the business, and impressing
the lawyers very much. Oh, I do hope he is helping his father!
“I can’t write about him, Nora darling. You would wonder how I can feel
the interest in him I do. I know that. But I can’t believe, as Otto
does, that he is deliberately cruel—a selfish, hard-hearted monster. He
has been a spoilt child all his life. But if some great call were made
upon him, mightn’t it stir up something splendid in him, finer things
than those are capable of ‘who need no repentance’?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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