England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Love stories; Oxford (England) -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
“I know.” The girl’s voice was low and soft. “I am awfully, awfully
sorry!”
“Thank you. It doesn’t of course matter for me. I can make my own life.
But for my father—it is hard. I should like you to know”—he spoke with
growing agitation—“that when we met—at Cannes—and at Oxford—I had no
knowledge—no idea—of what was happening.”
She raised her head suddenly, impetuously.
“I don’t know why you say that!”
He saw instantly that his wounded pride had betrayed him into a
blunder—that without meaning it, he had seemed to suggest that she
would have treated him differently, if she had known he was not a rich
man.
“It was a stupid thing to say. Please consider it unsaid.”
The silence deepened, till she broke it again—
“I see Mr. Radowitz sometimes. Won’t you like to know that he is
composing a symphony for his degree? He is always working at it. It
makes him happy—at least—contented.”
“Yes, I am glad. But nothing can ever make up to him. I know that.”
“No—nothing,” she admitted sadly.
“Or to me!”
Constance started. They had reached the last gate.
Falloden threw himself off his horse to open it and as she rode
through, she looked down into his face. Its proud regularity of
feature, its rich colour, its brilliance, seemed to her all blurred and
clouded. A flashing insight showed her the valley of distress and
humiliation through which this man had been passing. His bitter look,
at once of challenge and renunciation, set her trembling; she felt
herself all weakness; and suddenly the woman in her—dumbly,
unguessed—held out its arms.
But he knew nothing of it. Rather her attitude seemed to him one of
embarrassment—even of _hauteur_. It was suddenly intolerable to him to
seem to be asking for her pity. He raised his hat, coldly gave her a
few directions as to her road home, and closed the gate behind her. She
bowed and in another minute he was cantering away from her, towards the
sunset.
Connie went on blindly, the reins on her horse’s neck, the passionate
tears dropping on her hands.
CHAPTER XIII
Douglas Falloden rode home rapidly after parting from Connie. Passion,
impatience, bitter regret consumed him. He suffered, and could not
endure to suffer. That life, which had grown up with him as a
flattering and obsequious friend, obeying all his whims, yielding to
all his desires, should now have turned upon him in this traitorous
way, inflicting such monstrous reprisals and rebuffs, roused in him the
astonishment and resentment natural to such a temperament.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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