England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Love stories; Oxford (England) -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
They both laughed, looking into each other’s faces with a sudden sense
of relief from tension. After all the tragedy and the pain, there they
were, still young, still in the same world together. And the sun was
still shining and flowers blooming. Yet, all the same, there was no
thought of any renewal of their old relation on either side. Something
unexpressed, yet apparently final, seemed to stand between them;
differing very much in his mind from the something in hers, yet equally
potent. She, who had gone through agonies of far too tender pity for
him, felt now a touch of something chill and stern in the circumstance
surrounding him that seemed to put her aside. “This is not your
business,” it seemed to say; so that she saw herself as an
inexperienced child playing with that incalculable thing—the male.
Attempts at sympathy or advice died away—she rebelled, and submitted.
Still there are things—experiments—that even an inexperienced child, a
child “of good will” may venture. All the time that she was talking to
Falloden, a secret expectation, a secret excitement ran through her
inner mind. There was a garden door to her left, across a lawn. Her
eyes were often on it, and her ear listened for the click of the latch.
Meanwhile Falloden talked very frankly of the family circumstances and
his own plans. How changed the tone was since they had discussed the
same things, riding through the Lathom Woods in June! There was little
less self-confidence, perhaps; but the quality of it was not the same.
Instead of alienating, it began to touch and thrill her. And her heart
could not help its sudden tremor when he spoke of wintering “in or near
Oxford.” There was apparently a Merton prize fellowship in December on
which his hopes were set, and the first part of his bar examination to
read for, whether he got a fellowship or no.
“And Parliament?” she asked him.
“Yes—that’s my aim,” he said quietly. “Of course it’s the fashion just
now, especially in Oxford, to scoff at politics and the House of
Commons. It’s like the ‘art-for-arters’ in town. As if you could solve
anything by words—or paints!”
“Your father was in the House for some time?”
She bent towards him, as she mentioned his father, with a lovely
unconscious gesture that sent a tremor through him. He seemed to
perceive all that shaken feeling in her mind to which she found it so
impossible to give expression; on which his own action had placed so
strong a curb.
He replied that his father had been in Parliament for some twelve
years, and had been a Tory Whip part of the time. Then he paused, his
eyes on the grass, till he raised them to say abruptly:
“You heard about it all—from Radowitz?”
She nodded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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