England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Love stories; Oxford (England) -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
The two ladies drove silently on, and were soon among the movement and
traffic of the Oxford streets. Connie’s mind was steeped in passionate
feeling. Till now Falloden had touched first her senses, then her pity.
Now in these painful and despondent attempts of his, to adjust himself
to Otto’s weakness and irritability, he was stirring sympathies and
enthusiasms in her which belonged to that deepest soul in Connie which
was just becoming conscious of itself. And all the more, perhaps,
because in Falloden’s manner towards her there was nothing left of the
lover. For the moment at any rate she preferred it so. Life was all
doubt, expectation, thrill—its colour heightened, its meanings
underlined. And in her complete uncertainty as to what turn it would
take, and how the doubt would end, lay the spell—the potent tormenting
charm—of the situation.
She was sorry, bitterly sorry for Radowitz—the victim. But she loved
Falloden—the offender! It was the perennial injustice of passion, the
eternal injustice of human things.
When Falloden was half-way up the hill, he left the road, and took a
short cut through fields, by a path which led him to the back of the
cottage, where its sitting-room window opened on the garden and the
view. As he approached the house, he saw that the sitting-room blinds
had not been drawn, and some of the windows were still open. The whole
room was brilliantly lit by fire and lamp. Otto was there alone,
sitting at the piano, with his back to the approaching spectator and
the moonlit night outside. He was playing something with his left hand;
Falloden could see him plainly. Suddenly, he saw the boy’s figure
collapse. He was still sitting, but his face was buried in his arm
which was lying on the piano; and through the open window, Falloden
heard a sound which, muffled as it was, produced upon him a strange and
horrible impression. It was a low cry, or groan—the voice of despair
itself.
Falloden stood motionless. All he knew was that he would have given
anything in the world to recall the past; to undo the events of that
June evening in the Marmion quadrangle.
Then, before Otto could discover his presence, he went noiselessly
round the corner of the house, and entered it by the front door. In the
hall, he called loudly to the ex-scout, as he went upstairs, so that
Radowitz might know he had come back. When he returned, Radowitz was
sitting over the fire with sheets of scribbled music-paper on a small
table before him. His eyes shone, his cheeks were feverishly bright. He
turned with forced gaiety at the sight of Falloden—
“Well, did you meet them on the road?”
“Lady Constance, and her friend? Yes. I had a few words with them. How
are you now? What did the doctor say to you?”
“What on earth does it matter!” said Radowitz impatiently. “He is just
a fool—a young one—the worst sort—I can put up with the old ones. I
know my own case a great deal better than he does.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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