England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Love stories; Oxford (England) -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
How he did it remained obscure. But Mrs. Mulholland at least—out of a
rich moral history—guessed that what they saw in the Boar’s Hill
cottage was simply the working out of the old spiritual paradox—that
there is a yielding which is victory, and a surrender which is power.
It seemed to her often that Radowitz was living in a constant state of
half-subdued excitement, produced by the strange realisation that he
and his life had become so important to Falloden that the differences
of training and temperament between them, and all the little daily
rubs, no longer counted; that he existed, so to speak, that Falloden
might—through him—escape the burden of his own remorse. The hard,
strong, able man, so much older than himself in character, if not in
years, the man who had bullied and despised him, was now becoming his
servant, in the sense in which Christ was the “servant” of his
brethren. Not with any conscious Christian intention—far from it; but
still under a kind of mysterious compulsion. The humblest duties, the
most trivial anxieties, where Radowitz was concerned, fell, week by
week, increasingly to Falloden’s portion. A bad or a good
night—appetite or no appetite—a book that Otto liked—a visit that
amused him—anything that for the moment contented the starved musical
sense in Otto, that brought out his gift, and his joy in it—anything
that, for the moment, enabled him to forget and evade his
injuries—these became, for Falloden also, the leading events of his own
day. He was reading hard for his fellowship, and satisfying various
obscure needs by taking as much violent exercise as possible; but there
was going on in him, all the time, an intense spiritual ferment,
connected with Constance Bledlow on the one side, and Otto Radowitz on
the other.
Meanwhile—what was not so evident to this large-hearted observer—Otto
was more than willing—he burned—to play his part. All that is mystical
and passionate in the soul of a Polish Catholic, had been stirred in
him by his accident, his growing premonition of short life, the
bitterness of his calamity, the suddenness of his change of heart
towards Falloden.
“My future is wrecked. I shall never live to be old. I shall never be a
great musician. But I mean to live long enough to make Constance happy!
She shall talk of me to her children. And I shall watch over
her—perhaps—from another world.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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