England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"Augustin, do you remember that Penelope’s mother loved houses with
moats? I think the bishop may be right. I tremble with nervousness."
She had more reason to tremble in a moment, for a big motor-car shaved
them and scared the horse.
"Perhaps—" she cried.
"No," said Augustin, "it’s Plant and Williams and Carew!"
The duchess gasped. And before she could say another word, another car
swept by them.
"Perhaps—" she cried.
"No," said the bishop; "in spite of goggles, I recognize the marquis and
Mr. Gordon and Mr. Austin de Vere. This is very remarkable, and not a
little annoying. We shall all descend upon Penelope at once, and I fear
it will somewhat disturb her. I should have much preferred to see her
quietly in order to bring her to a just sense of her peculiar, and our
painful, position."
When they got to the house, they found all the lovers but Bramber
assembled at the gates. If it hadn’t been for the illness of the Earl
of Pulborough, he would have been there, they knew.
"Oh, which is it?" moaned Titania. "They all said they were married to
her, and I know it’s none of ’em."
The bishop greeted the crowd in the most courteous manner. He shook
hands with those he knew, and bowed to those he hoped to know.
"I think, gentleman, that, with your permission, I will go in first and
see Lady Penelope before any one else does."
And while he went up the carriage drive, Titania glared at the lovers.
"Don’t look at ’em like that, Titania," said Augustin.
"Like what, Augustin?"
"Like a Gorgon, Titania," said Augustin.
"I look as I feel," said Titania. "I hate them all. I shall not be
able to restrain myself when I see Penelope. I shall shake her. I
shall say what I think. No, I won’t be wise, Augustin! I decline to be
wise. I am full of bitterness. From her earliest youth, she has been a
thorn. And it is your fault; you encouraged her in reform, in
anarchism. Don’t speak to me! I shall explode!"
And Augustin got out just as the bishop rang the door-bell across the
moat. Instead of the kind of servant he expected to see, he was greeted
by a bent old woman, whose chief glory was her rheumatism, though her
claim on Bob had been her stupidity.
"Is Mrs. Bramwell at home?" asked the bishop, with a beaming smile.
"Naw," said the old lady, not beaming in the least.
"No? Then when will she be back?"
"I don’t know," replied the caretaker.
"You don’t know! Will it be soon?"
"She never said," snarled the old lady.
"Did she go early?"
"Maybe an hour ago, maybe two."
"Will she be back late?"
"Eh? I’m ’ard of ’earin’."
"Will she be back late?" roared the bishop.
"She didn’t say."
"What did she say, then?"
"Nothin’ as I knows of."
"Where did she go, my good woman?"
"She didn’t say."
"Dear me, how vexing!" said the bishop.
"I’m ’ard of ’earin’, I tell ye," said the old dame.
"Who went with her?"
"All of ’em, so I ’eard."
"Who were they?" asked the desperate bishop.
"All as was ’ere. There ain’t one left."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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