England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
By breakfast-time or a little later, Goby and Gordon and De Vere and
Rivaulx knew not only what was said about Timothy Bunting, but also that
every one of them had told the Duchess of Goring that he was married to
Penelope. When the bishop looked in to see the marquis, he found him
exceedingly difficult to manage. He wanted the duelling-swords back in
order to fight every one. His especial desire now was to put cold steel
through Gordon, and this led to a general evacuation of Spilsborough.
"I say, Mr. Gordon," said Bob, rushing in upon the financier while he
was shaving, "I’ve just met the bishop, and he wanted to know if I knew
you, and I said ’rather,’ and he said would I ask you, in the interests
of peace, to go back to London, because the marquis wanted to cut your
throat with swords hanging in the bishop’s dining-room. I say, will you
go, or stay and fight?"
Gordon cut himself, and then, as Bob said, "cut his stick" and went back
to town shaved on one side and not on the other. As a result of this,
several men in the city sold bears of everything that Gordon was
interested in, and they got left most horribly, especially on
Amalekites. Never afterward did they venture to think that any
financier was on the borders of ruin if he came into the city partially
shaved. In fact, three very shady Jews, with some wildcat stock to
boom, played the trick successfully, and, through not being shaved
themselves, they shaved others.
But this is all by the way, and it only shows that a real financier in
love or in despair is just as dangerous as at other times. Bob and the
bishop talked the situation over in Spilsborough while Gordon was going
to town, and the result was what might have been expected.
"All we know is that Penelope, poor dear Penelope is near Spilsborough,"
said the bishop.
"And that she’s married," said Bob.
"We infer that from general grounds, our knowledge of her character,"
said the logical bishop. "Strictly we cannot be said to know it. It is
not a primary datum of consciousness, nor is it a judgment or a purely
rational conclusion, Bob."
"Oh," said Bob, "well, perhaps not."
"I think," said the bishop, "that I shall write to her—"
"Where to?"
"To everywhere," said the bishop, "and ask her to come and confide in
me. And in the meantime, as the others have gone, and your presence
here is no longer necessary, I think you should go home and console your
grandmother, and apply yourself to work."
"All right," said Bob; "I don’t think it’s interesting here any more.
But are you glad I came in time to stop the duel?"
"I am glad," said the bishop. "But, to tell the truth, Robert, I should
not have allowed a duel on Mr. Dean’s ancient grass and under his
immemorial elms without a remonstrance, even a physical remonstrance."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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