"I could not write last night--I was too uncertain, too
anxious. All I said might have jarred. This morning came your
note, about eleven. It was angelic to think so kindly and
thoughtfully of a friend--angelic to write such a letter at
such a time. You announced your flight to Crowborough House,
but did not say when, so I crept to Bruton Street, seeing
Lady Henry in every lamp-post, got a few clandestine words
with Hutton, and knew, at least, what had happened to
you--outwardly and visibly.
"Last night did you think me a poltroon to vanish as I did?
It was the impulse of a moment. Mr. Montresor had pulled me
into a corner of the room, away from the rest of the party,
nominally to look at a picture, really that I might answer a
confidential question he had just put to me with regard to a
disputed incident in the Afridi campaign. We were in the dark
and partly behind a screen. Then the door opened. I confess
the sight of Lady Henry paralyzed me. A great, murderous,
six-foot Afridi--that would have been simple enough. But a
woman--old and ill and furious--with that Medusa's face--no!
My nerves suddenly failed me. What right had I in her house,
after all? As she advanced into the room, I slipped out
behind her. General Fergus and M. du Bartas joined me in the
hall. We walked to Bond Street together. They were divided
between laughter and vexation. I should have laughed--if I
could have forgotten you.
"But what could I have done for you, dear lady, if I had
stayed out the storm? I left you with three or four devoted
adherents, who had, moreover, the advantage over me of either
relationship or old acquaintance with Lady Henry. Compared to
them, I could have done nothing to shield you. Was it not
best to withdraw? Yet all the way home I accused myself
bitterly. Nor did I feel, when I reached home, that one who
had not grasped your hand under fire had any right to rest or
sleep. But anxiety for you, regrets for myself, took care of
that; I got my deserts.
"After all, when the pricks and pains of this great wrench
are over, shall we not all acknowledge that it is best the
crash should have come? You have suffered and borne too much.
Now we shall see you expand in a freer and happier life. The
Duchess has asked me to dinner to-morrow--the note has just
arrived--so that I shall soon have the chance of hearing from
you some of those details I so much want to know. But before
then you will write?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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