"Next week I shall see mamma's grave," said Julie, under her breath.
"Shall I put some flowers there for you?"
The fine blue eyes above her wavered. He bent to her.
"Yes. And write to me. Come back soon. Oh, you'll see. Things will all
come right, perfectly right, in spite of Lady Henry."
Confidence, encouragement, a charming raillery, an enthusiastic
tenderness--all these beamed upon her from the old man's tone and
gesture. She was puzzled. But with another pressure of the hand he was
gone. She stood looking after him. And as the carriage drove away, the
sound of the wheels hurt her. It was the withdrawal of something
protecting--something more her own, when all was said, than anything
else which remained to her.
As she returned to the drawing-room, Dr. Meredith intercepted her.
"You want me to send you some work to take abroad?" he said, in a low
voice. "I shall do nothing of the kind."
"Why?"
"Because you ought to have a complete holiday."
"Very well. Then I sha'n't be able to pay my way," she said, with a
tired smile.
"Remember the doctor's bills if you fall ill."
"Ill! I am never ill," she said, with scorn. Then she looked round the
room deliberately, and her gaze returned to her companion. "I am not
likely to be fatigued with society, am I?" she added, in a voice that
did not attempt to disguise the bitterness within.
"My dear lady, you are hardly installed."
"I have been here a month--the critical month. Now was the moment to
stand by me, or throw me over--n'est-ce pas? This is my first party, my
house-warming. I gave a fortnight's notice; I asked about sixty people,
whom I knew _well_. Some did not answer at all. Of the rest, half
declined--rather curtly, in many instances. And of those who accepted,
not all are here. And, oh, how it dragged!"
Meredith looked at her rather guiltily, not knowing what to say. It was
true the evening had dragged. In both their minds there rose the memory
of Lady Henry's "Wednesdays," the beautiful rooms, the varied and
brilliant company, the power and consideration which had attended Lady
Henry's companion.
"I suppose," said Julie, shrugging her shoulders, "I had been thinking
of the French _maîtresses de salon_, like a fool; of Mademoiselle de
l'Espinasse--or Madame Mohl--imagining that people would come to _me_
for a cup of tea and an agreeable hour. But in England, it seems, people
must be paid to talk. Talk is a business affair--you give it for a
consideration."
"No, no! You'll build it up," said Meredith. In his heart of hearts he
said to himself that she had not been herself that night. Her wonderful
social instincts, her memory, her adroitness, had somehow failed her.
And from a hostess strained, conscious, and only artificially gay, the
little gathering had taken its note.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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