Only a few short weeks since Warkworth had gone out of her life--since
Delafield at a stroke had saved her from ruin--since Lord Lackington had
passed away.
One letter had reached her from Warkworth, a wild and incoherent letter,
written at night in a little room of a squalid hotel near the Gare de
Sceaux. Her telegram had reached him, and for him, as for her, all
was over.
But the letter was by no means a mere cry of baffled passion. There was
in it a new note of moral anguish, as fresh and startling in her ear,
coming from him, as the cry of passion itself. In the language of
religion, it was the utterance of a man "convicted of sin."
"How long is it since that man gave me your telegram? I was
pacing up and down the departure platform, working myself
into an agony of nervousness and anxiety as the time went by,
wondering what on earth had happened to you, when the _chef
de gare_ came up: 'Monsieur attend une dépêche?' There were
some stupid formalities--at last I got it. It seemed to me I
had already guessed what it contained.
"So it was _Delafield_ who met you--Delafield who turned you
back?
"I saw him outside the hotel yesterday, and we exchanged a
few words. I have always disliked his long, pale face and his
high and mighty ways--at any rate, towards plain fellows, who
don't belong to the classes, like me. Yesterday I was more
than usually anxious to get rid of him.
"So he guessed?
"It can't have been chance. In some way he guessed. And you
have been torn from me. My God! If I could only reach him--if
I could fling his contempt in his face! And yet--
"I have been walking up and down this room all night. The
longing for you has been the sharpest suffering I suppose
that I have ever known. For I am not one of the many people
who enjoy pain. I have kept as free of it as I could. This
time it caught and gripped me. Yet that isn't all. There has
been something else.
"What strange, patched creatures we are! Do you know, Julie,
that by the time the dawn came I was on my knees--thanking
God that we were parted--that you were on your way
home--safe--out of my reach? Was I mad, or what? I can't
explain it. I only know that one moment I hated Delafield as
a mortal enemy--whether he was conscious of what he had done
or no--and the next I found myself blessing him!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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