Then, at a stroke, the London drawing-room melted away. She was in a low
bell-tent. The sun burned through its sides; the air was stifling. She
stood with two other men and the doctor beside the low camp-bed; her
heart was wrung by every movement, every sound; she heard the clicking
of the fan in the doctor's hands, she saw the flies on the poor,
damp brow.
And still she had no tears. Only, existence seemed to have ended in a
gulf of horror, where youth and courage, repentance and high resolve,
love and pleasure were all buried and annihilated together.
That poor girl up-stairs! It had not been possible to take her home. She
was there with nurse and doctor, her mother hanging upon every difficult
breath. The attack of diphtheria had left a weakened heart and nervous
system; the shock had been cruel, and the doctor could promise nothing
for the future.
"Mother--mother!... _Dead!_"
The cry echoed in Julie's ears. It seemed to fill the old, low-ceiled
room in which she lay. Her fancy, preternaturally alive, heard it thrown
back from the mountains outside--returned to her in wailing from the
infinite depths of the lake. She was conscious of the vast forms and
abysses of nature, there in the darkness, beyond the walls of her room,
as something hostile, implacable....
And while he lay there dead, under the tropical sand, she was still
living and breathing here, in this old Swiss inn--Jacob Delafield's
wife, at least in name.
There was a knock at her door. At first she did not answer it. It seemed
to be only one of the many dream sounds which tormented her nerves. Then
it was repeated. Mechanically she said "Come in."
The door opened, and Delafield, carrying a light, which he shaded with
his hand, stood on the threshold.
"May I come and talk to you?" he said, in a low voice. "I know you are
not sleeping."
It was the first time he had entered his wife's room. Through all her
misery, Julie felt a strange thrill as her husband's face was thus
revealed to her, brightly illumined, in the loneliness of the night.
Then the thrill passed into pain--the pain of a new and sharp
perception.
Delafield, in truth, was some two or three years younger than Warkworth.
But the sudden impression on Julie's mind, as she saw him thus, was of a
man worn and prematurely aged--markedly older and graver, even, since
their marriage, since that memorable evening by the side of Como when,
by that moral power of which he seemed often to be the mere channel and
organ, he had overcome her own will and linked her life with his.
She looked at him in a kind of terror. Why was he so pale--an embodied
grief? Warkworth's death was not a mortal stroke for _him_.
He came closer, and still Julie's eyes held him. Was it her fault,
this--this shadowed countenance, these suggestions of a dumb strain and
conflict, which not even his strong youth could bear without betrayal?
Her heart cried out, first in a tragic impatience; then it melted within
her strangely, she knew not how.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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