England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Villages -- Fiction
‘No, she is not going to do it, mother. She laughed at the idea. She
said, “Lady Macbeth--or something,” just as you did. She is a very
strange woman, but I don’t think that you would like her.’
‘Probably not,’ said Lady William. ‘It is, perhaps, unkind to say it,
but I am not very fond of the decayed gentlewoman in general. It would
serve me right,’ she said, with half a smile and half a sigh, ‘to end
like that myself.’
‘But how could that be?’ said Mab. It was one of those questions to
which there is no answer possible. Nor did she expect an answer. But it
brought a little cloud over Lady William’s brow. Indeed, it was all Lady
William could do to keep her face tolerably unclouded, and her
conversation as cheerful as usual for Mab’s sake. And this struggle on
her mother’s part kept Mab’s unusually serious face from being noticed
as it otherwise must have been. After that there were no further
questions asked about Mrs. Brown, and Mab went out to her gardening and
the many other occupations which filled up her time. But whatever she
was doing this heavy question hung upon her mind, and she carried with
her the burden that was like Christian’s, yet which she had not, like
him, any right to bear. Her duty to the parish was to denounce the woman
who ought not, with her mysterious guiltiness, to have the training of
the girls of Watcham. And her duty to her penitent was to keep
everything jealously within her own breast which had been confided to
her, so to speak, under the seal of confession. Mab had, as was natural,
a tremendous sense of her responsibility to both, but how she was to
reconcile the two was more than she could think of. She determined at
last upon a compromise, which was not indeed half sufficient to meet the
case, but which was the only thing she could think of. She herself, she
concluded, would for the future go constantly to the school, and thus
neutralise any evil that might be produced by Mrs. Brown. She would go
and watch over the girls, and see that their morals were all right, and
that nothing was said or done to lead them astray. By dint of thinking
it over the whole afternoon, shutting herself up alone to wrestle with
it, refraining even from tea in order that her deliberations might be
unbroken--this was the middle course to which Mab attained. She could
not betray Mrs. Brown. That was out of the question: and it was also
dreadful to think of betraying the parish, which, alas! if it knew what
Mab knew, would not continue Mrs. Brown in her place for a single day;
but if Mab took it upon herself--her little innocent self--to watch over
the girls, to be there early and late, guarding them from every
allusion, from every lesson that could hurt them--would not that make up
for the silence? She would watch the children as nobody else could
watch. She would have eyes like the lynx and ears like those who heard
the grass growing. This was what Mab determined upon in the anxiety of
her soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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