"They have certain ways of doing everything, and just certain times for
doing them, and if you do a wrong thing at a right time, or a right
thing at a wrong time, it shows you are from the West. At first, I
couldn't say a word, or turn around, without showing that I was from
the West. But although I've been from home only a few days, I'm
getting so that nobody can tell that I'm more important than the
furniture around me. I'm trying to be just like the one I'm with, and
I don't believe an outsider can tell that I have any more sense than
the rest of them.
"Miss Sellimer is so nice to me. I told her right at the start that I
didn't know anything about the big world, and she teaches me
everything. I'd be more comfortable if she could forget about my
saving her life, but she never can, and is so grateful it makes me feel
that I'm enjoying all this on false pretenses for you know my finding
her was only an accident. Her mother is very pleasant to me--much more
so than to her. Bill, you know how you speak to your horse, sometimes,
when it acts contrary? That's the way Miss Sellimer speaks to her
mother, at times. However, they don't seem very well acquainted with
each other. Of course if they'd lived together in a cove for years,
they'd have learned to tell each other their thoughts and plans, but
out in the big world there isn't time for anything except to dress and
go.
"I'm learning to dress. I used to think a girl could do that to please
herself, but no, the dresses are a thousand times more important than
the people inside them. It wouldn't matter how wise you are if your
dress is wrong, nor would it matter how foolish, if your dress is like
everybody else's. A person could be independent and do as she pleased,
but she wouldn't be in society. And nobody would believe she was
independent, they would just think she didn't know any better, or was
poor. Because, they don't know anything about being independent; they
want to be governed by their things. A poor person isn't cut off from
society because he hasn't money, but because he doesn't know how to
deal with high things, not having practised amongst them. It isn't
because society people have lots of money that they stick together, but
because all of them know what to do with the little forks and spoons.
"It is like the dearest, jolliest kind of game to me, to be with these
people, and say just what they say, and like what they like, and act as
they act--and that's the difference between me and them; it's not a
game to them, it's deadly earnest. They think they're LIVING!
"Do you think I could play at this so long that one day I'd imagine I
was doing what God had expected of me when he sent me to you, Brick?
Could I stay out in the big world until I'd think of the cove as a
cramped little pocket in the wilderness with two pennies jingling at
the bottom of it named Brick and Bill? If I thought there was any
danger of that, I'd start home in the morning!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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