Laicus; Or, the Experiences of a Layman in a Country Parish.Abbott, Lyman
Religion
Laicus; Or, the Experiences of a Layman in a Country Parish.
Abbott, Lyman
Christian fiction; New York (State) -- Fiction; Parishes -- Fiction
So, though we have preaching, we have no Gospel at Wheathedge.
Perhaps the lack of the parish is quite as painfully felt in other
departments as in the pulpit. The Church is without a head. It
flounders about like a headless chicken; excuse the homely simile,
which has nothing but truth to commend it. When Mrs. Beale died last
week, we had to send to Wheatensville to get a minister to attend
the funeral. When Sallie D. was married she sent there, too, for a
minister. He was out of town, and the ceremony came near being
delayed a week for want of him. The prayer-meeting lags. Little
coldnesses between church members break out into open quarrels.
There is no one to weld the dissevered members. Poor old Mother
Lang, who has not left her bed for five years, laments bitterly her
loss, and asks me every time I call to see her, "When will you get a
pastor?" The Young People's Association begins to droop. Even the
Sunday-school shows signs of friction, though Deacon Goodsole
succeeds in keeping it in tolerably good running order by his
imperturbable good humor. One advantage we have gained by this
interregnum-only one. Even Mr. Hardcap is convinced that pastoral
labors are not so unimportant as he had imagined.
For myself, I am in despair. I made no very serious objection to
being put on the supply committee. I fancied the task a
comparatively easy one. I had understood that there was no lack of
ministers wanting places. There is none. We have applications three
or four deep, of all sorts and kinds, from parishless clergymen. But
such a jury as the Wheathedge congregation affords, I never saw and
hope never to see again. I only wish there was some law to treat
them as other juries are treated: shut them up in the jury-room till
they agree on a verdict.
The first minister was too old; he would not suit the young folks.
The second, just out of the seminary, was too young; the old folks
said he had not experience. The third had experience. He had been in
a parish three years. He was still young, with the elastic hopes and
strong enthusiasm of youth. But he was a bachelor. The people pretty
universally declared that the minister should have a wife and a
house. The women all said there must be somebody to organize the
sewing circles, and to lead the female prayer-meetings. The fourth
was married, but he had three or four children. We could not support
him. The fifth was a most learned man, who told us the original
Greek or Hebrew of his texts, and, morning or evening, never came
nearer to America than Rome under Augustus C‘sar. He was dull. The
sixth afforded us a most brilliant pyrotechnic display. He
spluttered, and fizzed, and banged, as though Fourth of July himself
had taken orders and gone to preaching. The young people were
carried away. But the old folks all said he was sensational.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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