Artists -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
There was not a scrap of selfishness in all this. However deeply
Arthur Caterham loved Annie Maurice, the hope of making her his had
never for an instant arisen in his breast. He knew too well that a
mysterious decree of Providence had shut him out from the roll of those
who are loved by woman, save in pity or sympathy; and it was with a
feeling of relief, rather than regret, that of late--within the last
few months--he had felt an inward presentiment that his commerce with
Life was almost at an end, that his connection with that Vanity Fair,
through which he had been wheeled as a spectator, but in the occupation
or amusement of which he had never participated, was about to cease. He
loved her so dearly, that the thought of her future was always before
him, and caused him infinite anxiety. Worst of all, there was no one of
whom he could make a confidant amongst his acquaintance. Algy Barford
would do any thing; but he was a bachelor, which would incapacitate
him, and by far too easy-going, trouble-hating, and unimpressive. Who
else was there? Ah, a good thought!--that man Ludlow, the artist; an
old friend of Annie's, for whom she had so great a regard. He was not
particularly strong-minded out of his profession; but his devotion to
his child-friend was undoubted; and besides, he was a man of education
and common sense, rising, too, to a position which would insure his
being heard. He would talk with Ludlow about Annie's future; so he
wrote off to Geoffrey by the next post, begging him to come and see him
as soon as possible. Yes, he could look at it all quite steadily now.
Heaven knows, life to him had been no such happiness as to make its
surrender painful or difficult It was only as he neared his journey's
end, he thought, that any light had been shed upon his path, and when
that should be extinguished he would have no heart to go further. No:
let the end come, as he knew it was coming, swiftly and surely; only
let him think that _her_ future was secured, and he could die more than
contented--happy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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