Artists -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
Once again the tone, reckless and defiant, struck harshly on her ear.
He continued, "I was saying you did not seem to see the position. You
and I were very good friends once upon a time, and got on very well
together; but that would never do now."
She turned faint, sick, and closed her eyes; but remained silent.
"Wouldn't do a bit," he continued. "You know Ive been a tremendous
cropper--must have thought deuced badly of me for cutting off in that
way; but it was my only chance, by Jove; and now Ive come back to try
and make all square. But I must keep deuced quiet and mind my p's and
q's, or I shall go to grief again, like a bird."
She waited for a moment, and then she said faintly and slowly, "I
understand you thoroughly now. You mean that it would be better for us
to remain apart for some time yet?"
"For some time?--yes. Confound it all, Margaret!--you won't take a
hint, and you make a fellow speak out and seem cruel and unkind, and
all that kind of thing, that he does not want to. Look here. You ought
never to have come here at all. It's impossible we can ever meet again."
She started convulsively; but even then she seemed unable to grasp
the truth. Her earnestness brought the colour flying to her cheeks as
she said hurriedly, "Why impossible, Lionel,--why impossible? If you
are in trouble, who has such a right to be near you as I? If you want
assistance and solace, who should give it you before me? That is the
mistake you made, Lionel. When you were in your last trouble you should
have confided in me: my woman's wit might have helped you through it;
or at the worst, my woman's love would have consoled you in it."
She was creeping closer to him, but stopped as she saw his face darken
and his arms clasp themselves across his breast.
"D--n it all!" said he petulantly; "you won't understand, I think. This
sort of thing is impossible. Any sort of love, or friendship, or trust
is impossible. Ive come back to set myself straight, and to pull out of
all the infernal scrapes I got myself into before I left; and there's
only one way to do it."
"And that is--"
"Well, if you will have it, you must. And that is--by making a good
marriage."
She uttered a short sharp cry, followed by a prolonged wail, such as a
stricken hare gives. Lionel Brakespere looked up at her; but his face
never relaxed, and his arms still remained tightly folded across his
breast. Then she spoke, very quietly and very sadly:
"By making a good marriage! Ah! then I see it all. That is why you are
annoyed at my having come to you. That is why you dread the sight of
me, because it reminds you that I am in the way; reminds you of the
existence of the clog round your neck that prevents your taking up
this position for which you long; because it reminds you that you once
sacrificed self to sentiment, and permitted yourself to be guided by
love instead of ambition. That is what you mean?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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