British -- China -- Fiction; English fiction -- 20th century; Fantasy fiction
She caught his eye. There were lightnings in it before which her
dissembling vanished like silk on hot coals. She broke into peal
after peal of laughter, and Wang beat his old head in an ecstasy of
merriment. The fawn cropped the grass in complete indifference.
But swiftly she became grave again. “I do not understand myself,” she
told him.
“It is simple enough.”
“All the same, I don’t understand why, when I was so dearly in love
with Yuan....”
“In love with your left knee!”
“What do you mean then? Was I not in love?” She reflected, almost
prepared, now, to believe it. “It is true, there was always a
hesitation. But I can explain that.”
He doubled up with laughter.
“I really can. There was a difference of flesh between us. He was a
foreigner, you see.”
The echoes of his laughter drifted to the mountains.
She was a little mortified. “It is insulting of you not to believe
me. I only know that I shall never love any man again.” Now the deep
pleasures of the summer came back to her heart, giving it a twist.
The fountains of Wang’s mirth were too much for him. His bleached and
shrunken old body could hardly contain the elemental upwelling. The
universe itself laughed at her in his old eyes as it had rained in
Yuan’s. “Let us walk,” he gasped; “let us go home.” He wiped tears from
his cheeks. Then once more the beauty of it overwhelmed him. “She can
never love again!” He held his sides.
“Well,” she expostulated, “there is nobody. I could not love my father
or my old friend Ambrose. The rest bore me. I do not want love. I have
this queer new pleasure in me instead.”
They scrambled down the valleys, he subject to recurrent fits of
amusement. She could not withstand him, and at last allowed herself to
regard Yuan’s seriousness and her own bewilderment as a joke. “What has
come to me?” she asked the old Sage.
“Death,” he answered.
Was this true? She felt as one who recognizes that a tide is about to
seize and drown her.
“If not dead, you are dying,” he continued. “Did not Yuan give you the
mystic peach that shrivels the soul and leaves a house for another
inhabitant?”
“But you said I am to love,” she protested, displaying an agitation
that came uppermost in spite of herself, an agitation that did not
really seem to belong to her. “How can I love when I am dead and have
no desire?”
“Cannot the immortal take pleasure in love—in compelling lips, in hands
that awaken, in...?” In so-and-so and in so-and-so. The old man made
her blush with his account of the delights of the senses.
“But you,” she interpolated—“you are a Sage ... you are above
desire....”
“A Sage is not necessarily a drivelling idiot,” he replied. “I am very
old. It is more than a hundred years since I was interested in what may
interest a younger man, and the immortal in-dweller has other objects
with me. But there was a time.... The unnameable, when he takes the
place of the self, has no objection whatever to making use of the
furniture. But he is master of desire.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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