British -- China -- Fiction; English fiction -- 20th century; Fantasy fiction
“I find it beautiful. I should hate the world, now, if it were not all
death and change. I have no use for anything that is not inexorable. I
like the universe to stare pitilessly—with eyes resembling Yuan’s. It
is only the cold and the passionless that I can admire. Ambrose, fancy
a universe all mushy with love, like an over-ripe pear!”
“Excellent!” Ambrose remembers being conscious of enthusiasm in his
voice, more surprisingly of a flush on the flower-texture of her face.
“Yuan helped me to enter the mind of tiger and eagle, to become the
tiger and the eagle, and I found in them what I now find in myself,
something I can’t describe—something immense. I have been a tree, too,
you know, and a lotus, and a beetle. What I found in all of them Yuan
has now become. He has given himself entirely to the contemplation of
it in its nakedness, untransformed into bird, or mountain, or man.
I did not want to follow his example, I suppose, because there are
things I may find amusing in the world. Wang says that, having found
the kingdom of the unnameable, the world has been given to me as well,
and this is in order. But I think I have still just a little farther to
go. The peach hasn’t quite done its work, and when I’m entirely dead
perhaps I shall be like Yuan.”
Lord Sombrewater came along the verandah and sat down beside Ambrose.
His eye was more pheasant-like than ever. He was glum. Lychnis had
given him the outline of her story, and informed him of her willingness
to go where he liked, but she had not given him certain information.
He could have got it with a question, but he did not care at any time
to get his information by direct questioning, and this was a question
somewhat difficult to put.
Ambrose replied to her thoughts.
“There are people,” he observed, “so securely in alliance with our
friend Yuan’s unnameable that they do not fear to step down into the
world and drink deeply of its pleasures.”
“You, too, have tasted—” she began, and relapsed—refused, swiftly, to
meet him in a common experience. “There are so many ways of approaching
what it is I desire to say,” she continued, “and no words for it. But
it really doesn’t matter. The chief thing is that nothing any longer
matters, except the continual experience. One is so at peace.”
“The peace of God,” Ambrose interjected.
“I suppose one must say ‘God.’ But there is a great danger of being
misunderstood.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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