British -- China -- Fiction; English fiction -- 20th century; Fantasy fiction
But he merely stood with bent head considering the glaucous lairs of
the water-world. He was not thinking. He was abandoned, unconscious of
self or of any process, to what his eyes saw. He was in relation with
the water, the fish, the beetles, through the reality which filled him
and them and superseded delimitation. He had ceased to exist. He was
no longer separate. But an onlooker would have been struck by his
self-possession.
Fulke went close to Lychnis and faint-heartedly touched her. His desire
to put his arms round her nearly achieved itself. Distracted by himself
and by his desire, he was now without inward resource. Entangled in the
inhibitions of self-consciousness, he blushed, stammered, and did not
know how to stand or where to put his hands.
Ambrose made notes on the behaviour of all concerned.
“Lychnis.” Fulke faltered a whisper.
She gave no sign of having heard.
“Lychnis. I.... Why won’t you talk to me? I could answer your
questions.... I....”
She made no answer.
“I know things, too. I am intelligent. Oh, slime and hell! I hardly
know what I’m saying!”
“Yes, yes. You are very intelligent—very nice.” She spoke as if
half-asleep.
He stumbled back over the damp sand to Ruby. “Look at her!” he
exclaimed. “She’s following him. He’s drawing her into his own mad
world. What can we do, Ruby?”
“I don’t know.” Ruby was dejected, alarmed. “She’s funny. I do wish she
wouldn’t be. You don’t think——” She stopped. “I don’t like it much
here. It’s not a place for people to be. Could I go back? Would they
mind?”
“My God!” he answered. “I think I’ll come with you. She’ll be all
right. Ambrose is here. You and I—we are of no use to her.” Their eyes
met in a perfect orgasm of wretchedness, and they glided off, the two
of them, along the tunnel and up out of the water-world into the air
and the sun.
Hsiao appeared to be disappointed. He had given himself up to the
contemplation of Ruby’s torch of red hair that glimmered through the
shadows of the stalk-forest. But, instantly dismissing anything so
painful as disappointment, he addressed himself to a contemplation of
Lychnis. “She has hands like the white opening water-lily,” he was
understood to say. “They would be cool and fragrant to the mouth, and
delicately scented.”
Wang Li tapped Ambrose on the shoulder, and pointed at his
great-grandson.
“A young man,” he said, “not free from the chains of desire.”
“Desire?” queried Ambrose.
“Desire. An itch of the mind; the mind still itching to experience,
to understand, to know. He still takes an interest in things. He
approaches the matter from the wrong angle. Seek first the kingdom of
non-being and the world of appearances will be yours at a later date.”
He notices a good deal for an old man who is permanently unconscious,
thought Ambrose. Peripherally, no doubt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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