“In my case such unusual action is a necessary postulate of happiness.
_You_ are in the enviable position of knowing that you can never be
loved for anything but yourself; that no man can be accused of
mercenariness in approaching you, but in _my_ case there is always the
danger that the millions with which I am credited should keep away from
me any man of particularly delicate feeling and high honour.”
It seems incredible to Lavinia that at such a moment she herself should
be able to entertain so sordid a speculation; yet there is no doubt that
the wonder flashes through her mind as to whether the profits of the
Dropless Candle have really amounted to the figure so superbly indicated
by the daughter and goddaughter of that great invention?
“Such being the case,” continues Miss Prince, in a tone of modest pride
at the about-to-be-related exploit, “there was only one course open to
me, and as it was perfectly consonant with my views of life and ethics,
I took it without reluctance. I offered myself to him.”
“As you did to General ---- three months ago?”
The recalled action--recalled by the very white lips of the heroine’s
one hearer--would put most people out of countenance, and even Miss
Prince’s once more admirably white surface shows a pink stain.
“You speak as if you were convicting me of inconsistency--of infidelity
to my ideal,” she says, with a little haste of wronged modesty. “And
superficially it may appear to be so; but it is only in appearance; as
you know it has always been my creed that whenever and wherever I met
what I conceived to be the highest and noblest qualities of humanity
embodied in one man, I ought to offer myself unreservedly to him. If I
have failed, it is a failure more glorious than most successes.”
Lavinia has stopped her flower-cutting, and forgotten her misgivings as
to the tell-tale tragedy of her own face; she looks sullenly and with
what she knows to be a baseless rage of jealousy at her, the manner and
accompaniments of whose declaration of love she is in dull torment
trying to reconstruct, while memory adds its sting by recalling to her
the high, cool apartness of virginal indignation which had been her own
attitude of mind towards Féodorovna’s former achievement.
“Circumstances were against me,” pursues Féodorovna, presently, looking
away in a sort of dreamy protest towards the horizon. “That unlucky
illness! If I had had _your_ opportunities, the opportunities which were
wasted on you, he might have decided differently.”
It is lucky that Miss Prince is still upbraiding the skyline; for
Lavinia gives a sudden wince at the allusion to that safely preoccupied
heart of her own which has rendered her, as a matter of course,
danger-proof. To defend herself against that passionate repudiation of
her own immunity, which seems fighting its mad way to her lips, she
frames a needless question.
“He refused you?”
Féodorovna bends the chastened elegance of her black-and-white toque in
dignified acquiescence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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