Perhaps from the feebleness of his body, perhaps from an inability to
frame an answer that can nicely hit a case so difficult, the young man
is silent; but there is no hostility, nor even much melancholy, in the
glance that first rests on and then delicately averts itself in
compassion from her convulsed face.
“I have been disloyal to you,” she goes on, fighting down her distress
lest it should gag her before she has time to get her full confession
out. “I offer again to tell you to what extent----”
He stops her with a prohibitive movement, full of dignity, of his pale
hand.
“No,” he says; “I have no wish to know the tale of kisses. Many or few,
we will take them for granted.”
Her head sinks on her breast in an agony of shame.
“Many or few, they are past and done with,” she cries out. “And now I
_beg_ you to forgive me! on my knees I beg you to forgive me!” As she
speaks, she suits the action to the word, and drops on her knees beside
the bed.
He looks at her, disturbed at the humiliation expressed by her whole
being, yet with an underlying calm that dominates her.
“The only thing that I can’t forgive you is your present attitude,” he
answers; and, as he speaks, there is just enough of gentle disgust in
his voice to bring back before her, in prosaic strength, his æsthetic
detestation of all scenes, rows, uglinesses.
“I _must_ keep it till you answer me,” she returns, chilled, yet
persistent. “Will you forgive me? and will you prove it by marrying
me?--by marrying me as soon as you get well? I will stay here until my
knees grow to the carpet, if you do not say ‘Yes.’”
He lies silent for a moment or two, considering her with a sort of high,
detached pity.
“I have no alternative,” he answers, with a grave smile. “Since you wish
it, I will marry you--when I get well; and now, would you oblige me by
standing up?”
CHAPTER XXII
So it is settled. Her prayers are answered; her vows are fulfilled.
Everything is, or will be upon Rupert’s recovery, as it was. _As it was?
When?_ Before Binning’s coming? Her soul, half-lightened of its burden
of remorse, awaking to new pain, cries out in bitter protest, “My
God!--_no!_” And yet to all appearance it will be so. To all appearance
she will take up the thread of life where she had dropped it on the day
of her uncle’s and Rupert’s return from London. There is no hurry about
her question now. She will have countless hours of married intimacy in
which to put it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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