“Do you mean----”--whether it be through the weakness of his body or the
rebellion of his spirit, the words are spoken almost below his
breath--“that you have tied yourself for life by a childish promise to
another child?”
She draws up head and neck in a way that he feels to convey a dignified
reproof.
“There is no question of tying. I am doing it absolutely of my own free
will. All my life I have known that for me there was to be no another
man than Rupert; and all his life he has known that for him there was to
be no other woman than me!”
If any incredulity born of experience or observation invades the soul of
Rupert’s brother man at this large assertion, no sign of it appears. He
only waits blankly.
“I am up to my neck in debt to them--to both of them!” goes on the poor
girl, losing something of her collectedness, and torn between the
knowledge that wisdom bids her leave the picture of her past and future
without further touches; and the impossibility of not making it clear to
her pale hearer, that love--lover-love--has no part in the scheme of her
existence. “I am up to my neck in debt to them, and this is the first
instalment I have ever been able to pay!”
“I see.”
She sighs, and throws out her arms as if tossing away something irksome.
“Now let us talk of something else.”
But a topic, thus ordered up, comes with a limp; and they get lamely
enough through the next hour; the bulletins to Féodorovna are delivered
with a punctuality unknown on happier yesterday. It is only gradually
that comfort and fluency return to them, the knowledge of the one
subject which has to be skirted round, making all others seem dangerous.
The war-map hung at the foot of the bed proves their best ally. In
moving its pins and flags, and making out, with the nearest approach to
accuracy, the scene of Captain Greene’s exploit, they grow almost easy
and almost garrulous.
“What have you been talking about?” is the first question put by Miss
Prince on the next scrupulously paid visit of report made by the
amateur nurse.
Féodorovna has managed to fidget her temperature up to a higher point
than yesterday’s, and the orange of her face is patched with the
flushings of fever.
“About the war.”
“What about the war?”
“I have been moving the pins and flags on the war-map, in accordance
with to-day’s news.”
“You ought not to let him mention the war.”
“I think it would be worse harm to forbid him. He would only brood the
more over Captain Greene’s wounds.”
“You seem to be much better informed on the subject than I am”--very
fretfully. “What else have you talked about?”
“Nothing much.”
“I hope you have not told him that my temperature has gone up.”
“No.”
“Of course he asked?”
“Of course.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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