Lay Morals, and Other PapersStevenson, Robert Louis
Philosophy
Lay Morals, and Other Papers
Stevenson, Robert Louis
Essays; Short stories
I knew one once, and the room where, lonely and old, she waited for
death. It was pleasant enough, high up above the lane, and looking forth
upon a hill-side, covered all day with sheets and yellow blankets, and
with long lines of underclothing fluttering between the battered posts.
There were any number of cheap prints, and a drawing by one of ‘her
children,’ and there were flowers in the window, and a sickly canary
withered into consumption in an ornamental cage. The bed, with its
checked coverlid, was in a closet. A great Bible lay on the table; and
her drawers were full of ‘scones,’ which it was her pleasure to give to
young visitors such as I was then.
You may not think this a melancholy picture; but the canary, and the cat,
and the white mouse that she had for a while, and that died, were all
indications of the want that ate into her heart. I think I know a little
of what that old woman felt; and I am as sure as if I had seen her, that
she sat many an hour in silent tears, with the big Bible open before her
clouded eyes.
If you could look back upon her life, and feel the great chain that had
linked her to one child after another, sometimes to be wrenched suddenly
through, and sometimes, which is infinitely worse, to be torn gradually
off through years of growing neglect, or perhaps growing dislike! She
had, like the mother, overcome that natural repugnance—repugnance which
no man can conquer—towards the infirm and helpless mass of putty of the
earlier stage. She had spent her best and happiest years in tending,
watching, and learning to love like a mother this child, with which she
has no connection and to which she has no tie. Perhaps she refused some
sweetheart (such things have been), or put him off and off, until he lost
heart and turned to some one else, all for fear of leaving this creature
that had wound itself about her heart. And the end of it all—her month’s
warning, and a present perhaps, and the rest of the life to vain regret.
Or, worse still, to see the child gradually forgetting and forsaking her,
fostered in disrespect and neglect on the plea of growing manliness, and
at last beginning to treat her as a servant whom he had treated a few
years before as a mother. She sees the Bible or the Psalm-book, which
with gladness and love unutterable in her heart she had bought for him
years ago out of her slender savings, neglected for some newer gift of
his father, lying in dust in the lumber-room or given away to a poor
child, and the act applauded for its unfeeling charity. Little wonder if
she becomes hurt and angry, and attempts to tyrannise and to grasp her
old power back again. We are not all patient Grizzels, by good fortune,
but the most of us human beings with feelings and tempers of our own.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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