Le Cocu (Novels of Paul de Kock Volume XVIII)Kock, Paul de
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Le Cocu (Novels of Paul de Kock Volume XVIII)
Kock, Paul de
French fiction -- 19th century
“I must seem very mad, very reckless to you, my friend, but you have no
idea of all that I have just gone through! Within a few moments, my
destiny, my future has changed. Now I can be happy. I loved you--you
know it, for I have not been able to conceal my feeling for you. Without
telling each other so, we understood each other perfectly.--But that
love was a crime; at least I thought so. I blamed myself for it; I tried
to avoid you, to forget you.--Mon Dieu! how unhappy I was!--But now I
know the whole truth; I know that I am at liberty to love you.”
“What? what do you mean?”
“That I know all.--Oh! forgive me for questioning that woman, but I
could not resist my curiosity. Your confusion at the sight of her seemed
so strange!”
“That woman! Have you talked with Lucile?”
“Yes, and I know now that, far from being guilty toward your wife, you
were shamefully deceived by her.”
“Oh! hush! hush!”
“Never again, I give you my word, will I remind you of a thing that has
caused you such pain. Now I can understand why you would not go back to
her--why you fled from her. I blamed you; I thought that I was an
obstacle to your reconciliation, and that is why I tried to go away from
you. But, since things are as they are, why should I doom myself to
everlasting misery? why should I not abandon myself to the sentiment
which you have inspired in me?”
“What are you saying, Caroline? If my wife were guilty, am I the more
free for that?”
“Free? no, I am well aware that I cannot be your wife. But what do I
care for that title? it is your love alone that I want; as you know, I
worry very little about the world and the proprieties. I am my own
mistress; why should I not dare to love you? Because you are bound to
somebody who has made your life wretched, must you drag out your whole
existence in bitterness and solitude?--No! on the contrary, I propose,
by my love, to make you forget your sorrows. It will be so sweet to me
to be your only friend--to have all your thoughts, every moment of your
life!--But you do not answer? Great God! have I made a mistake? Can it
be that you do not love me? Oh! then there is nothing left in life for
me--I can only die!--Henri! Henri!--He does not answer!”
She had placed her head on my breast. I cannot describe what took place
within me. How could I spurn, how fly from a woman whom I loved? I had
not the strength. I raised that lovely head. As I sought to comfort her,
my face touched hers; our cheeks were burning, our lips met. We forgot
the whole world, we existed only for each other.
I do not know how long we stayed there on that turf, the scene of our
transports. I was happy, and yet something oppressed and saddened me. I
was afraid to reflect. Caroline had thrown her arms about my neck; she
was engrossed by her love. I looked about and listened; there was no
sound to be heard.
“It is very late. I think that I must go home,” said Caroline; “you will
go with me, won’t you, dear?”
“Of course.”
“Where are we?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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