Girls -- Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction; Gossip -- Juvenile fiction
She began about the liking Miss Kathleen showed to be with me,
and how she was very glad Miss Kathleen should—only—and there she
stopped, and began afresh. Miss Kathleen was such a good truthful
child always, she said, and so simple, and with no nonsense in her
head. Then there came another stop.
"Kitty," says she, "you have not always been truthful, and you have
had a great deal of nonsense in your head. I know so much, you see.
Can I depend upon you with my little girl?" says she. "You have had
a sharp lesson, and I think you cannot be the same after it that you
were before. If I let the child be in and out with you as much as she
likes, can I be sure that she will gain no harm—will learn no deceit
nor folly from you?" says she.
It did go to my heart to think I wasn't counted fit to be trusted
with that child; and yet what else was to be expected, after the way
I'd let myself be drawn into evil?
I don't half know what I said, except that I had had a sharp lesson,
and I would be very very careful, and never speak a word to Miss
Kathleen which I wouldn't wish her mother to hear.
"Yes, that will be right—that will do," said she.
Then I gave way and cried bitterly, and how good, to be sure,
she was! She took one seat, and made me take another, and she said
such comforting words.
Somehow I hadn't felt till then so fully how I had sinned against God
first and most of all, and how first and most of all I needed
His forgiveness.
I had wronged my father, and before he died he had forgiven me; and I
had wronged my mother, and she wasn't in a state to know how
to pardon. But far, far beyond these I had wronged my Father
in Heaven, and that had been only a second sort of thought with me.
"Against Thee, Thee only, have I sinned!" Mrs. Withers said once
or twice; and I began to say the words in my heart, meaning them.
Not "only" in one sense, because I had wronged others; but "only"
in another sense, because the wrong against others was nothing at all
seen beside the wrong done to my God.
I kept thinking of that wrong and sin all the rest of the day.
I tried to pray for pardon, but no comfort came. When Miss Kathleen
came to me, and wanted to talk about all sorts of things, I didn't
find it easy to listen nor answer. "Against Thee—Thee only" —was
running through my head.
Next day was Sunday; and it was a day I shan't soon forget, though it
passed by quiet enough to all outward seeming, and nobody could have
guessed it was anything out of the common to me.
The morning service wasn't. I went to Church, and knelt and stood
and sat just as usual; and I couldn't listen much, nor take it all
in. And the afternoon dragged by in a like fashion.
Then came the evening service. I had a seat in a dark corner, half
behind a pillar, where I couldn't be seen. I was glad of this—soon.
For in the very first words, the opening sentences, there came
a message straight to my heart.—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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