"Master's bed, you scoundrel!" stuttered Dick; "how dare you intrude into an officer's room? be off, or I shall send you to the _shop_ in a minute." And so, Dick Duff, believing that he had settled the little mistake satisfactorily, again composed himself to sleep, while the servant hurried to the main guard to acquaint his master that "a thief was in possession of his bed and quarters." These tidings promptly brought up the officer with his sword in his hand, and a file of the guard at his heels. Dick was once more roused, and wrathfully, too, from his slumbers, to find by his bedside two soldiers and an officer _cap-à-pie_ in a strange uniform. "What do you mean, fellow, by this unwarrantable in-in-in-trusion?" asked Dick, with great dignity. "Who are you, sir?" asked the officer in a louder key. "You'll soon find that out--off with you, sir, or by heavens I'll parade you where you won't like it. I have a pair of saw-handled pacifiers that are the deuce for hitting at fifteen paces." "What the devil are you about in my quarters?" "_Your_ quarters?" "Yes, sir, _my_ quarters!" thundered the Captain of Pompadours. "Come, now--I like that." "D--nit, sir?" "Don't get excited, old fellow; is not this number three stair, four room?" "Yes, of course it is." "Then allow me to insinuate, sir, that you are drunk--very drunk, in uniform too--disgraceful; consider yourself under arrest Sir, these quarters are _mine_--you will retire, if you please." And Dick, who was still very groggy, again addressed himself to sleep. Trembling with anger, the Pompadour for a moment doubted the evidence of his own senses; but seeing all his own luggage and property in the room, and being certain that his brain was not turning, though the cool impudence of Duff confounded him. "Corporal of the guard," said he, in a stifled tone of anger, "handcuff this insolent fellow, and march him to the cells." "Handcuff--the devil!" shouted Dick. This imperative order made him spring up, and at that moment, the recollection of the change of barracks, his month's leave, and the last night's potations, flashed upon him. Unhappy Dick was sobered in a moment, and his countenance fell, and he turned to explain--to apologize; but the Pompadour would listen to nothing. Our friend was ignominiously hauled from bed, hastily dressed, roughly handcuffed, and despite all his assertions that he was "an officer--an officer and a gentleman," &c. &c., he was marched to the guardhouse, into which he would have been thrust, had not a staff-officer, the friend with whom he had supped overnight, passed in at that moment and recognised him.