Courtship -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Widows -- Fiction
Was it amazement alone which had first forced her name from his lips,
and then shut them fast? Was he shocked, perhaps sore that a thing had
happened which he had resolved should never happen? Was it pain,
disgust, horror, she heard in that single involuntary utterance?
Ah, then, she knew what she must do.
Sick disappointment sent a shiver through her frame, and all at once she
felt her limbs totter.
But to fall? To betray emotions which were not _his_ emotions? To be
weak where he was bold and strong? No, a thousand times, no; she drew
herself upright and made a passionate effort.
"Paul, I am--so sorry. I did not know, I never dreamt--of this. Indeed,
indeed I never did. Believe me, oh, do believe me, Paul."
"Believe you, Leo? I do not understand?" He gazed at her, bewildered,
then took a step forward, and she felt him trying to take her hand. She
drew it back hurriedly.
"Wait. Wait a moment. Let me speak. We did not know you were here, we
did not indeed. We have not known anything of you, for a long, long
time. It was only yesterday we, Sue and I, came to this place; and we
can go away again to-morrow--or to-night. We would not trouble you,
Paul."
"Trouble me?" He laughed, a curious laugh, bitter and sweet, scornful
and surpassingly tender. It might have enlightened her, but she was past
listening.
"You will believe, Paul, that we--that to annoy you, to distress
you,--oh, not for worlds, not for worlds. We will go to-night." And she
turned as though to fly on the spot, but he caught her arm.
"Leo?"
She was faintly trying to free herself. The arm went further and held
her fast.
"Can you think," said a voice in her ear, "can you suppose that the
sight of _you_, you who have been with me night and day in dreams, and
thoughts, and hopes, and fears, that this could--what did you call
it?--'annoy' me? Leo, my own, my beloved, don't you, can't you
see--_now_?"
"Paul!"
"You whom I might not love, and yet could not but love? Listen. You say
you had lost sight of me--that was because I dared not come to you. I
dared not trust myself--perhaps, may I say it?--I could not trust either
of us. We had once--and that must never happen again. You are listening?
My darling, how you tremble, why do you tremble so, Leo? There is
nothing to fear now. Let me go on, and you will see. It was only the
other day I learned the tidings that set me free. You see I had no
means of knowing; and then when I did hear, I could not--it would have
been horrible to be in haste to take advantage of it. So, though life
opened anew, I meant to wait quietly till the time came when perhaps I
might hope to prevail--but, oh, to think of _this_!"
And then at last she ventured to raise her eyes, and what did those eyes
behold? It was the look--_the look_--on the face of Paul!
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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