Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The Indiscreet ToysDiderot, Denis
General
Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The Indiscreet Toys
Diderot, Denis
Erotic fiction; Louis XV, King of France, 1710-1774 -- Fiction
Mangogul, says the African author, whose Journal we translate, was at
Fannia's house by half an hour after nine this morning. She was but
just put to bed. The Sultan drew near her pillow, view'd her for some
time, and could not conceive how, with so few charms, she had run
through so many adventures.
Fannia is fair even to insipidity, tall, ungainly, with an indecent
gait, no features, few _Agrémens_, and an air of intrepidity,
intolerable any where but at court. As for wit, she is allowed to have
just as much as gallantry can communicate: and a woman must be born
very weak, if she has not acquired a stock of jargon after a score of
intrigues; for Fannia was advanced thus far.
At this time she was possessed by a man suited to her character. He
gave himself little or no concern about her infidelities; tho' indeed
he was not as well informed as the public, how far she carried them.
He had taken Fannia by caprice, and kept her by habit; like a piece of
furniture. They had spent the night at the ball, went to bed at nine,
and fell asleep without ceremony. Alonzo's indifference would not have
suited Fannia, were it not for her easy humour. Thus our couple were
sleeping soundly back to back, when the Sultan turn'd his ring on
Fannia's Toy. It instantly began to speak, its mistress to snoar, and
Alonzo to awake.
After yawning several times; "this is not Alonzo, what's o'clock, who
wants me? your business," said the Toy. "I think I have not been long
in bed, let me take another nap."
The Toy was preparing to compose itself to rest accordingly; but that
was not the Sultan's intention. "What persecution," resumed the Toy.
"Once more who wants me, and for what? 'tis a misfortune to be born of
illustrious ancestors: how unhappy is the condition of a titled Toy! if
any thing could console me for the fatigues of my state, it would be
the goodness of the nobleman, whose property I am. Oh! he is certainly
the best man in the world in that regard. He has never given us the
least uneasiness: and in return we have made great use of the liberty
he granted us. What would have become of me, great Brama, if I had
fallen to the share of one of those insipid wretches, who are always
upon the watch? what a fine life we should have led!"
Here the Toy added some words, which Mangogul understood not, and then
with surprising rapidity fell to sketching out a crowd of heroic,
comic, burlesque, and tragicomic adventures: and it was almost out of
breath, when it continued in these terms. "You see I have some memory.
But I am like all others; I have retained but the smallest part of what
I have been intrusted with. Be satisfied therefore with what I have
related to you, I can recollect no more at present."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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