his face; men saw his life, but the Bishop saw his conscience. He must
consequently go to Arras, deliver the false Jean Valjean, and denounce
the true one. Alas! this was the greatest of sacrifices, the most
poignant of victories, the last step to take; but he must take it.
Frightful destiny his! he could not obtain sanctity in the sight of
Heaven unless he returned to infamy in the sight of man.
"Well," he said, "I will make up my mind to this. I will do my duty and
save this man."
He uttered those words aloud without noticing he had raised his voice.
He fetched his books, verified and put them in order. He threw into the
fire a number of claims he had upon embarrassed tradesmen, and wrote
a letter, which he addressed "To M. Lafitte, banker, Rue d'Artois,
Paris." He then took from his desk a pocket-book, which contained a
few bank-notes and the passport he had employed just previously to go
to the elections. Any one who had seen him while he was accomplishing
these various acts, with which such grave meditation was mingled,
would not have suspected what was taking place in him. At moments his
lips moved, at others he raised his head and looked at a part of the
wall, as if there were something there which he desired to clear up or
question.
When the letter to M. Lafitte was finished, he put it into his
portfolio, and began his walk once more. His reverie had not deviated;
he continued to see his duty clearly written in luminous letters
which flashed before his eyes, and moved about with his glance, Name
yourself, denounce yourself! He could also see the two ideas which
had hitherto been the double rule of his life--to hide his name and
sanctify his life--moving before him as it were in a tangible shape.
For the first time they seemed to him absolutely distinct, and he saw
the difference that separated them. He recognized that one of these
ideas was necessarily good, while the other might become bad; that the
former was self-sacrifice, the latter selfishness; that one said, "My
neighbor," the other "Myself;" that one came from the light and the
other from darkness. They strove with each other, and he could see them
doing so. While he was thinking, they had grown before his mental eye,
and they had now colossal forms, and he fancied he could see a god and
a giant wrestling within him, in the infinitude to which we just now
alluded, and in the midst of obscurity and flashes of light. It was a
horrible sight, but it seemed to him as if the good thought gained the
victory. He felt that he was approaching the second decisive moment of
his life; that the Bishop marked the first phase of his new life, and
that this Champmathieu marked the second; after the great crisis came
the great trial.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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