As he felt cold, he lit a fire, but did not dream of closing the
window. Then he fell back into his stupor, obliged to make a mighty
effort to remember what he had been thinking of before midnight struck.
At last he succeeded.
"Ah, yes," he said to himself, "I had formed the resolution to denounce
myself."
And then he suddenly began thinking of Fantine.
"Stay," he said; "and that poor woman!"
Here a fresh crisis broke out: Fantine, suddenly appearing in the midst
of his reverie, was like a ray of unexpected light. He fancied that all
changed around him, and exclaimed,--
"Wait a minute! Hitherto, I have thought of myself and consulted my own
convenience. Whether it suits me to be silent or denounce myself--hide
my person or save my soul--be a contemptible and respected Magistrate,
or an infamous and venerable convict--it is always self, nought but
self. Good heavens! all this is egotism; under different shapes, 't is
true, but still egotism. Suppose I were to think a little about others!
It is the first duty of a Christian to think of his neighbor. Well, let
me examine: when I am effaced and forgotten, what will become of all
this? If I denounce myself, that Champmathieu will be set at liberty.
I shall be sent back to the galleys, and what then? What will occur
here? Here are a town, factories, a trade, work-people, men, women,
old grandfathers, children, and poor people: I have created all this.
I keep it all alive: wherever there is a chimney smoking, I placed
the brand in the fire and the meat in the pot: I have produced easy
circumstances, circulation, and credit. Before I came there was nothing
of all this; I revived, animated, fertilized, stimulated, and enriched
the whole district. When I am gone the soul will be gone; if I withdraw
all will die; and then, this woman, who has suffered so greatly, who
has so much merit in her fall, and whose misfortune I unwittingly
caused, and the child which I intended to go and fetch, and restore to
the mother--Do not I also owe something to this woman in reparation of
the wrong which I have done her? If I disappear, what will happen? The
mother dies, and the child will become what it can. This will happen if
I denounce myself. If I do not denounce myself? Come, let me see."
After asking himself this question, he hesitated, and trembled
slightly; but this emotion lasted but a short time, and he answered
himself calmly:--
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