There was somebody, but not of those whom the human eye can see. He
placed the candlesticks on the mantel-piece, and then resumed that
melancholy, mournful walk, which aroused the sleeper underneath him.
This walking relieved him, and at the same time intoxicated him. It
appears sometimes as if on supreme occasions people move about to
ask advice of everything they pass. At the end of a few moments he
no longer knew what result to arrive at. He now recoiled with equal
horror from the two resolutions he had formed in turn; the two ideas
that counselled him seemed each as desperate as the other. What a
fatality that this Champmathieu should be taken for him! He was hurled
down precisely by the means which Providence at first seemed to have
employed to strengthen his position.
There was a moment during which he regarded his future. Denounce
himself! great Heavens! give himself up! He thought with immense
despair of all that he must give up, of all that he must resume. He
would be forced to bid adieu to this good, pure, radiant life,--to the
respect of all classes,--to honor, to liberty! He would no longer walk
about the fields, he would no longer hear the birds sing in May, or
give alms to the little children! He would no longer feel the sweetness
of glances of gratitude and love fixed upon him! He would leave this
little house, which he had built, and his little bed-room. All appeared
charming to him at this moment. He would no longer read those books or
write at the little deal table; his old servant would no longer bring
up his coffee in the morning. Great God! instead of all this, there
would be the gang, the red jacket, the chain on his foot, fatigue, the
dungeon, the camp-bed, and all the horrors he knew! At his age, after
all he had borne! It would be different were he still young. But to be
old, coarsely addressed by anybody, searched by the jailer, and receive
blows from the keeper's stick! to thrust his naked feet into iron-shod
shoes! to offer his leg morning and night to the man who examines the
fetters! to endure the curiosity of strangers who would be told, "That
is the famous Jean Valjean, who was Mayor of M----!" at night, when
pouring with perspiration, and crushed by fatigue, with a green cap
on his head, to go up two by two, under the sergeants whip, the side
ladder of the hulks! Oh, what misery! Destiny, then, can be as wicked
as an intelligent being and prove as monstrous as the human heart!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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