"Pardon me for being here; my heart is swollen. I could not live as I
was, and I have come. Have you read what I placed on that bench? Do you
recognize me at all? Do not be frightened at me. Do you remember that
day when you looked at me, now so long ago? It was in the Luxembourg
garden near the Gladiator, and the days on which you passed before
me were June 16 and July 2; it is nearly a year ago. I have not seen
you again for a very long time. I inquired of the woman who lets out
chairs, and she said that you no longer came there. You lived in the
Rue de l'Ouest on the third-floor front of a new house. You see that I
know. I followed you, what else could I do? And then you disappeared.
I fancied that I saw you pass once as I was reading the papers under
the Odéon Arcade, and ran after you, but no, it was a person wearing
a bonnet like yours. At night I come here--fear nothing, no one sees
me. I come to gaze and be near your windows, and I walk very softly
that you may not hear me, for you might be alarmed. The other evening
I was behind you; you turned round, and I fled. Once I heard you sing;
I was happy. Does it harm you that I should listen to you through the
shutters while singing? No, it cannot harm you. You see, you are my
angel, so let me come now and then. I believe that I am going to die.
If you only knew how I adore you! Forgive me for speaking to you. I
know not what I am saying, perhaps I offend you--do I offend you?--"
"Oh, my mother!" said she.
And she sank down as if she were dying. He seized her in his arms and
pressed her to his heart, not knowing what he did. He supported her
while himself tottering. He felt as if his head were full of smoke;
flashes passed between his eye-lashes. His ideas left him; and it
seemed to him as if he were accomplishing a religious act, and yet
committing a profanation. However, he had not the least desire for
this ravishing creature, whose form he felt against his bosom; he was
distractedly in love. She took his hand, and laid it on her heart; he
felt the paper there, and stammered,--
"You love me, then?"
She answered in so low a voice that it was almost an inaudible breath,--
"Silence! you know I do."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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