he would die? She had gone away knowing this, and it was plain that
she was pleased with Marius's dying; and then it was clear that she no
longer loved him, since she had gone away thus without warning him,
without a word, without a letter, and yet she knew his address! Of what
use was it to live; and why should he live now? And then, to have come
so far and then recoil! to have approached the danger and run away!
to have come to look at the barricade and then slip off! to slip off,
trembling and saying, "After all, I have had enough of that I have seen
it, that is sufficient; it is civil war, and I will be off!" To abandon
his friends who expected him, who perhaps had need of him, who were a
handful against an army! To be false to everything at once,--to love,
to friendship, to his word! to give his poltroonery the pretext of
patriotism! Oh, that was impossible, and if his father's phantom were
there in the shadows, and saw him recoil, it would lash him with the
flat of its sabre, and cry to him, "Forward, coward!"
A prey to this oscillation of his thoughts, he hung his head, but
suddenly raised it again, for a species of splendid rectification
had just taken place in his mind. There is a dilation of thought
peculiar to the vicinity of the tomb; and to be near death makes
a man see correctly. The vision of the action upon which he saw
himself perhaps on the point of entering, no longer appeared to him
lamentable, but superb; the street was become transfigured by some
internal labor of the soul before his mental eye. All the tumultuous
notes of interrogation of reverie crowded back upon him, but without
troubling him, and he did not leave a single one unanswered. Why would
his father be indignant? Are there not cases in which; insurrection
attains to the dignity of duty? What was there degrading for the son
of Colonel Pontmercy in the combat which was about to begin? It is no
longer Montmirail or Champaubert, it is something else; it is no longer
a question of a sacred territory, but of a holy idea. The country
complains; be it so, but humanity applauds. Is it true, besides, that
the country complains? France bleeds, but liberty smiles, and on seeing
the smile of liberty France forgets her wound. And then, regarding
things from a higher point still, what did people mean by talking of a
civil war?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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