existence, was the raft of this shipwrecked man; what should he do,
cling to it, or let it go? If he clung to it, he issued from disaster,
he remounted to the sunshine, he let the bitter water drip off his
clothes and hair, he was saved and lived. Suppose he let it go? Then
there was an abyss. He thus dolorously held counsel with his thoughts,
or, to speak more correctly, he combated; he rushed furiously within
himself, at one moment against his will, at another against his
convictions. It was fortunate for Jean Valjean that he had been able
to weep, for that enlightened him, perhaps. Still, the beginning was
stern; a tempest, more furious than that which had formerly forced him
to Arras, was let loose within him. The past returned to him in the
face of the present; he compared and sobbed. Once the sluice of tears
was opened, the despairing man writhed. He felt himself arrested, alas!
in the deadly fight between one egotism and one duty. When we thus
recoil inch by inch before our ideal, wildly, obstinately, exasperated
at yielding, disputing the ground, hoping for a possible flight, and
seeking an issue, what a sudden and sinister resistance behind us is
the foot of the wall! To feel the holy shadow standing in the way! The
inexorable, invisible,--what a pressure!
Hence we have never finished with our conscience. Make up your mind,
Brutus; make up your mind, Cato. It is bottomless, for it is God. You
cast into this pit the labor of your whole life,--your fortune, your
wealth, your success, your liberty, or your country, your comfort, your
repose, your joy. More, more, more! Empty the vase, tread over the
urn, you must, end by throwing in your heart. There is a barrel like
this somewhere in the Hades of old. Is it not pardonable to refuse at
last? Can that which is inexhaustible have any claim? Are not endless
chains beyond human strength? Who then would blame Sisyphus and Jean
Valjean for saying, It is enough! The obedience of matter is limited
by friction: is there not a limit to the obedience of the soul? If
perpetual motion be impossible, why is perpetual devotion demanded?
The first step is nothing, it is the last that is difficult. What
was the Champmathieu affair by the side of Cosette's marriage? What
did it bring with it? What is returning to the hulks by the side of
entering nothingness? Oh, first step to descend, how gloomy thou art!
oh, second step, how black thou art! How could he help turning his head
away this time? Martyrdom is a sublimation, a corrosive sublimation,
it is a torture which consecrates. A man may consent to it for the
first hour; he sits on the throne of red-hot iron, the crown of red-hot
iron is placed on his head,--he accepts the red-hot globe, he takes
the red-hot sceptre, but he still has to don the mantle of flame, and
is there not a moment when the miserable flesh revolts and he flies
from the punishment? At length Jean Valjean entered the calmness of
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