No one caught a glimpse of the sinister reality, and in feet who could
have divined such a thing? There are marshes like this in India: the
water seems extraordinary, inexplicable, rippling when there is no
breeze, and agitated when it ought to be calm. People look at the
surface of this ebullition which has no cause, and do not suspect the
hydra dragging itself along at the bottom. Many men have in this way a
secret monster, an evil which they nourish, a dragon that gnaws them, a
despair that dwells in their night. Such a man resembles others, comes
and goes, and no one knows that he has within him a frightful parasitic
pain with a thousand teeth, which dwells in the wretch and kills him.
They do not know that this man is a gulf; he is stagnant but deep. From
time to time a trouble which no one understands is produced on his
surface; a mysterious ripple forms, then fades away, then reappears; a
bubble rises and bursts. It is a slight thing, but it is terrible, for
it is the respiration of the unknown boast. Certain strange habits,
such as arriving at the hour when others go away, hiding one's self
when others show themselves, wearing on all occasions what may be
called the wall-colored cloak, seeking the solitary walk, preferring
the deserted street, not mixing in conversation, avoiding crowds and
festivities, appearing to be comfortably off and living poorly, having,
rich though one is, one's key in one's pocket and one's candle in
the porter's lodge, entering by the small door and going up the back
stairs,--all these insignificant singularities, ripples, air-bubbles,
and fugitive marks on the surface, frequently come from a formidable
depth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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