Lessons in Life; A Series of Familiar EssaysHolland, J. G. (Josiah Gilbert)
Philosophy
Lessons in Life; A Series of Familiar Essays
Holland, J. G. (Josiah Gilbert)
Conduct of life
are men and women or spaniels.
Now by the side of the person who carries an unsuspicious,
self-respectful, open face, into any presence, such people as
these seem unworthy of the race to which they belong. It is not
the bold, brassy, self-asserting man who is their superior, because
his sort of offensive forwardness originates in even a worse state
of mind and heart than the habit of shying. When a man shies, he
only suspects that he is inferior to his surroundings. When a man
offensively puts himself forward, and talks loudly among his
betters, he knows he is mean, and knows that he is not where he
belongs. You will find a professional gambler to be a loudmouthed
man, who not only does not shy at his betters, but who seeks all
convenient opportunities for associating with them, and claiming
an equality with them. The shying man is one who has not much
respect for himself, who is envious and jealous of others, and
who, however strongly he may protest against the charge, has the
most abject respect for social position and arbitrary social
distinctions. If he see a man who either assumes or seems to be
above him, it is a reason in his mind why that man should not
notice him. The result is that decent men soon take him at his own
valuation, and notice him no more than they would a dog; and they
serve him right.
I know of no more thankless task than the attempt to assure shying
people that we love them, respect them, and are glad to continue
their acquaintance. The instances in which old school-mates meet
in the journey of life with a sickening coolness, in consequence
of changed circumstances and relations, are of every-day
occurrence. Two persons who separated at the school-house door in
dawning manhood, with equal prospects, come together later in
life. One has risen in the world, has won hosts of friends, has
been put forward by them into public office, perhaps, and has
acquired a competence. The other has remained upon the old
homestead, has had a hard life, and has won neither distinction
nor wealth. The fortunate man grasps the hand of the other with
all the cordiality of his nature and of his honest friendship; but
he meets a reserve which may be almost sullen. He strives to call
up the scenes gone by--the old school-sports--the school
companions, boys and girls--the old neighborhood friendships--but
they will not come. All attempts to touch the heart of his former
schoolmate, and bring him into sympathy through the power of
association, fail. The poor fool suspects his friend of
patronizing him, and he will not be patronized. Feeling that his
friend has got along in the world better than himself, he cannot
understand why he should not be regarded as an inferior, and
treated as such. Thenceforward, the fortunate man must seek the
society of the unfortunate man, or he will never have it. The
former may give practical recognition of entire equality, to the
best of his ability, but it will avail nothing, for the latter
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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