He was bent over, muddied, and stooped and shivered on his long legs
like a plucked wading bird. It was Bixiou. Yes, Parisians, your very
own Bixiou, the ferociously charming Bixiou, the fanatical satirist who
has so delighted you for fifteen years with his writings and
caricatures.... Oh, poor man, and how painful to see him like that.
Without the familiar grimace when he came in, I would not have
recognised him.
His head was bent over to one side, and his cane was pushed into his
mouth like a clarinet. The illustrious and gloomy jester then moved to
the centre of the room and staggered against my table as he said
despondently: "Have pity on a blind man!..."
It was such a good take-off that I couldn't stop myself laughing. The
Arctic-cold response came immediately: "If you think I'm joking ...
just look into my eyes."
He then turned two large, white, sightless eyes towards me: "I've gone
blind, my dear, blind for life.... That's what comes from writing with
vitriol. I have burned out the candle of my eyes out doing the damned
job ... to the stub!" he added showing me his desiccated eyelids with
no trace of an eyelash.
I was so overcome, I couldn't find anything to say. My silence troubled
him:
"Are you working?"
“--No, Bixiou, I'm having lunch. Would you like to join me?"
He didn't reply, but I could see clearly from his quivering nostrils
that he was dying to say yes. I took his hand and sat him down beside
me.
While I served him, the poor devil sniffed at the food and chuckled:
"Oh, it smells good, this. I'm really going to enjoy it; and it will be
an age before I eat again! A sou's worth of bread every morning, as I
traipse through the ministries, is all I get.... I tell you, I'm really
badgering the ministries now--it's the only work I do--I am trying to
get permission to run a tobacconist's shop.... What else can I do; I've
got to eat. I can't draw; I can't write... Dictation?... But dictate
what?... I haven't a clue, me; I can't think of a thing to write. My
trade was to look at the lunacies of Paris and hold a mirror up to
them; but I haven't got what it takes now.... Then I thought about a
tobacconist's shop; not in the boulevards of course, I can't expect
those kind of favours, being neither a show girl's mother, nor a field
officer's widow. No. I'm just looking for a small shop in the
provinces, somewhere far away, say a spot in the Vosges. I will sell a
hell of a clay pipe, and console myself by wrapping tobacco in my
contemporaries' writings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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