“It is however, in his private chapel that Father Vega has prepared
the grand scene of his triumphs over the hearts of his audience.
Twice every day, during the Exercises, he kneels for the space of
one hour, surrounded by his congregation. Day-light is excluded, and
a candle is so disposed in a shade that, without breaking the gloom
of the chapel, it shines on a full-length sculpture of Christ nailed
to the Cross, who, with a countenance where exquisite suffering is
blended with the most lovely patience, seems to be on the point
of moving his lips to say--“Father, forgive them!” The mind is at
first allowed to dwell, in the deepest silence, on the images and
sentiments with which previous reading has furnished it, till the
Director, warmed with meditation, breaks forth in an impressive
voice, not, however, addressing himself to his hearers, from whom
he appears completely abstracted, but pouring out his heart in
the presence of the Deity. Silence ensues after a few sentences,
and not many minutes elapse without a fresh ejaculation. But the
fire gradually kindles into a flame. The addresses grow longer and
more impassioned; his voice, choked with sobs and tears, struggles
painfully for utterance, till the stoutest hearts are forced to yield
to the impression, and the chapel resounds with sighs and groans.
“I cannot but shudder at the recollection that my mind was made to
undergo such an ordeal at the age of fifteen; for it is a custom
of the diocese of Seville to prepare the candidates for orders
by the Exercises of Saint Ignatius; and even those who are to be
incorporated with the clergy by the ceremony of the _First Tonsure_,
are not easily spared this trial. I was grown up a timid, docile,
yet ardent boy. My soul, as I have already mentioned, had been early
made to taste the bitterness of remorse, and I now eagerly embraced
the offer of those expiatory rites which, as I fondly thought, were
to restore lost innocence, and keep me for ever in the straight path
of virtue. The shock, however, which my spirits felt, might have
unnerved me for life, and reduced my faculties to a state little
short of imbecility, had I not received from nature, probably as a
compensation for a too soft and yielding heart, an understanding
which was born a rebel. Yet, I cannot tell whether it was my heart
or my head, that, in spite of a frighted fancy, endued me with
resolution to baffle the blind zeal of my confessor, when, finding,
during these Exercises, that I knew the existence of a prohibited
book in the possession of a student of divinity, who, out of mere
good nature, assisted my early studies; he commanded me to accuse
my friend before the Inquisition. Often have I been betrayed into a
wrong course of thinking, by a desire to assimilate myself to those I
loved, and thus enjoy that interchange of sentiment which forms the
luxury of friendship. But even the chains of love, the strongest I
know within the range of nature, could never hold me, the moment I
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