My dear Haydon--Upon my Soul I never felt your going out of the room at all--and believe me I never rhodomontade anywhere but in your Company--my general Life in Society is silence. I feel in myself all the vices of a Poet, irritability, love of effect and admiration--and influenced by such devils I may at times say more ridiculous things than I am aware of--but I will put a stop to that in a manner I have long resolved upon--I will buy a gold ring and put it on my finger--and from that time a Man of superior head shall never have occasion to pity me, or one of inferior Nunskull to chuckle at me. I am certainly more for greatness in a shade than in the open day--I am speaking as a mortal--I should say I value more the privilege of seeing great things in loneliness than the fame of a Prophet. Yet here I am sinning--so I will turn to a thing I have thought on more--I mean your means till your picture be finished: not only now but for this year and half have I thought of it. Believe me Haydon I have that sort of fire in my heart that would sacrifice everything I have to your service--I speak without any reserve--I know you would do so for me--I open my heart to you in a few words. I will do this sooner than you shall be distressed: but let me be the last stay--Ask the rich lovers of Art first--I'll tell you why--I have a little money which may enable me to study, and to travel for three or four years. I never expect to get anything by my Books: and moreover I wish to avoid publishing--I admire Human Nature but I do not like _Men_. I should like to compose things honourable to Man--but not fingerable over by _Men_. So I am anxious to exist without troubling the printer's devil or drawing upon Men's or Women's admiration--in which great solitude I hope God will give me strength to rejoice. Try the long purses--but do not sell your drawings or I shall consider it a breach of friendship. I am sorry I was not at home when Salmon called. Do write and let me know all your present whys and wherefores. Yours most faithfully JOHN KEATS. LXXXIV.--TO JOHN TAYLOR. Wentworth Place, [December 24, 1818]. My dear Taylor--Can you lend me L30 for a short time? Ten I want for myself--and twenty for a friend--which will be repaid me by the middle of next month. I shall go to Chichester on Wednesday and perhaps stay a fortnight--I am afraid I shall not be able to dine with you before I return. Remember me to Woodhouse. Yours sincerely JOHN KEATS. LXXXV.--TO BENJAMIN ROBERT HAYDON. Wentworth Place, [December 27, 1818]. My dear Haydon--I had an engagement to-day--and it is so fine a morning that I cannot put it off--I will be with you to-morrow--when we will thank the Gods, though you have bad eyes and I am idle.