Letters of Major Jack Downing, of the Downingville MilitiaSmith, Seba
History
Letters of Major Jack Downing, of the Downingville Militia
Smith, Seba
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Caricatures and cartoons; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Humor
Then Chase spoke. He sed the finances were in a flourishing condishin.
He now had five hundred printin presses to work makin money; that the
debt warn't only $5,000,000,000,000; that every body was gettin rich,
an that the way to treat the southern States an save the country was
just this: Issue a Proclamashin that only jest enough cotton should be
raised for him to print greenbacks on, an then he could control the
currency in spite of all the copperhead gold speculaters in creashin.
Stantin sed that his department was all right. That he had got rid of
all the copperhed ginrals, and had left the track clear for the next
President to be a genuine Abelishinist. That all that was necessary now
was to keep the war up till after the next Presidential elecshin, and
he thought he could do it. As for the southern States, he was for givin
the niggers the plantations and makin the whites their slaves.
Then old grandfather Welles got up, strokin his long white beard. He
sed that nothin could save the nashin but gunboats; that he was buildin
one a day now, except on the Sabbath, which he piously devoted to
prayin an fastin, and to dividin the contracks among his relashins. He
thought the South ought to be surrounded with a wall of gunboats from
Texas to Maryland.
The next one that spoke was Blair. He said he hadn't stopped a single
paper durin' the hull year, an he was only sorry that he ever did; that
he had only given the papers he stopped more circulashin than they ever
had before; that no one would ever catch him into another such a
scrape. As for the southern States, he was down on all the Radikels. He
sed they might be allowed to cum back jest as they wanted to.
When it cum Daddy Bates' turn, he was fast asleep. When Linkin told him
what he wanted, he sed it warn't for him to say what should be done
with the Southern States. After it was decided what to do with 'em, he
supposed they would want a legal opinion on the subject, an he could
give one on either side, he did'nt care which.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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