"Wal," ses the Kernel, ses he, "Majer, that brings up a great moral questshin, as the nigger said when he was stealin chickens, an we ain't got time to discuss it now. You see, Majer, I sent for you to know what I better do about McClellan. I git all sorts of contradictory stories from his army, an I'm puzzled most to deth to know what to do." "Wal," ses I, "Kernel, there's nothin like goin in the field yourself, an examine for yourself ef you want to know how things stand." "Wal," ses he, "that's jest what I've been thinkin of, an as you're a military man, I wanted you to go with me." I telled him I had no objecshin to goin, an that ef I had a fair chance I thought I could tell about how things looked. So we got reddy, and the Kernel asked old Blair's son Frank and Sekertary Stantin's chief clark to go along with us. We went down the Potomack, an jest called at Fort Monrow, and then went up the Jeems River to Harrisin Landin. Goin up the river we kept a sharp look-out for the rebils, who line the bank and shoot at our botes. I told the Kernel that he must be mitey kerful an not get hit, as the way stocks would tumble in Wall street would be a caushin. So I tuk him down stairs wen we come to the dangerous places. There they had the bote lined with bales of hay. Ses he, "Majer, which way does the shootin cum from?" "Wal," ses I, "Kernel, there's no tellin, but," ses I, "you better get behind that bale, for it's a big one, an here's another on t'other side, so I guess you'll be safe." While he was settin there, ses he, "Majer, I ain't afeerd a hooter, but you see I didn't want them seceshers to brag about killin me." "No," ses I, "Kernel, that wouldn't do eny how." Jest then "bang" went sumthin like a shot. The Kernel jumped about ten feet, rite across the bote, and hit Frank Blair with his left boot rite where he ought not to. Frank thought he'd been struck with a cannon-ball, and tumbled over, leavin the seat of honor uppermost. Stantin's chief clark acted as ef he'd been eatin poke-berries, and had an awful gripin in the bowels. It seems one of the bales of hay had been tipped over when the Kernel give his big jump, an hit the chap rite in his bread-basket. We were all purty badly scart, for I tell you it makes a feller feel mighty narvous wen he's in an inemies country, an may be hit eny moment with a cannon-ball or a Minny bullet. Shootin will do very well as long as sumbody else is shot at; but wen it cums to yourself, it makes you feel week in the jints, an sumtimes brings on the die-area. Wen we cum to find out, however, we learned we had a scare for nothin. The pilot, in turning one of the short bends in the river, had jerked on his chains too hard, an snapped one of them rite in two. This noise was what sounded down in the cabin like a shot.