"Wal," ses the Kernel, "Majer, it's oncommon hard for old men like you, I know; but you jest meet with the Cabynet this mornin, an let us see ef some new plan can't be adopted to get out of this scrape." So wen the time cum, I took my hickery, an went in. Purty soon the different members cum droppin in, one by one, an all seemed highly tickled to see me except Seward, who has never forgiven me for exposin his decepshin on Linkin wen he altered my "Constitushinal Teliskope." After they all got seated, ses Linkin, ses he, "Gentlemen, there's no use eny longer of doin like the ostrich does--stick our heads in a sandbank an say that we 'don't see it,' for we're whipped an driven back--in a word, we have failed. Now, the rale question is, Why have we failed? What is the cause of it? Jest as soon as we kin find out the reason of our failure, we shall know what to do to remedy it. Now," ses the Kernel, "I want every one of you to give me your frank, blunt opinion as to the reason. First, I will call on Mr. Seward." Seward got up, lookin as pale as a sheet, an ses he, "Wal, it ain't my fault. I've paid no attenshin to the war, but have had my hands full in keepin furrin nashins from interferin, an I've succeeded; but ef I should give my opinion of the cause of the failure of our efforts to restore the Union, I would say it was owin entirely to the ultra-Republicans, who wanted to kill slavery before they scotched it. This let the cat out of our bag before the rite time. It aroused an united the South an divided the North. They saw what we were after. Ef my policy had been followed of pacifyin the South an of talkin 'Union' to the North, we would have scotched the snake of slavery, an then we could have killed it at our leisure." Then Linkin called Chase. He commenced by saying that he did not agree with Mr. Seward as to the cause of our failure. He sed it was jest this dilly-dally policy that had ruined us. Congress had done its duty, but the President had not yet dared to make the rebils feel the power of Congress. He sed he had kept the army supplied with "greenbacks," an that was all he had to do. He had done his duty, but he didn't beleeve we would ever succeed until we fit for liberty an the overthrow of slavery. We should allers fail to restore the Union until we did it. Then Stantin spoke. He sed "he thought one grate cause of our failure was because he had not kept on issooing his proclamashins, as he did at first. He sed he thought his proclamashin about 'the sperit of the Lord' enabled our soldiers to take Nashville. Then," ses he, "Ginneral McClellan is too slow. He might have been made for a ralerode engineer, where there was no hurry about buildin the road, but he was never cut out for a Ginneral. He was a failure, and hence it wos a failure all round."